Sending Post Cards From a Plane Crash (Wish You Were Here)
by 50ShadesofGerardGay
Summary: *Sequel to Lying Is the Most Fun* When our past comes back to haunt us, when our demons never die, where do we hide? Jade, Cat, and Tori all have new secrets, but the pressures of college and teen parenting begin to break them. Everyone has to fight their own battles, but are they strong enough on their own? (T for adult themes) Jade/OC, Bade, Cabbie, and more
1. Conquistador

**_HELLO LOVELY READERS. Now, this is probably going to be a massive author's note. _**

**_So, I don't remember how public I made this, but I wanted to work on another story for a different TV show. I said I wanted to shell out a few chapters before I started on the sequel to "Lying" and I did, but now I need to re-write that story because there are some MAJOR plot holes._**

**_Anyway, I've been working on this singular chapter for like...a few weeks now. I just recently started my sophomore year of college and I have a little more free time (but obviously not as much as I had all summer). Updates for this will be sporadic at best because I'm really trying to get all A's this semester and I'm also going to be going to the gym EVERY DAY._**

**_I apologize in advance for this chapter. I wrote it and rewrote it but it still came out like it is now. The very final scene is the product of twenty minute writing because I really wanted to get this out to you guys. I tried really hard to put some drama in this chapter, but it's the opening chapter and there's a major time jump that I didn't cover too well in the last story. But I feel like there was a good bit of drama going on here._**

**_That being said, leave a review telling me what you think. If you have any questions, I'll be sure to answer them/cover them in the next chapter. Thank you so much to my loyal readers and reviewers from the last story. I hope this one is just as good as the last._**

**_Love you all,_**

**_Skye_**

* * *

**_"Chapter 1 – Conquistador"_**

_"This is a fight for love, lust, hate, desire. We are the children of the great empire." – 30 Seconds to Mars_

_Dear diary,_

_I think there's something wrong with me…like I'm missing something. Everything just feels so weird, being a mommy in college. And, I have so much that I'm thankful for, but I still feel like I don't have enough!_

_Cassie turned two a few months ago and she's getting really hard to handle. My mommy calls it "the terrible twos" and I think she's right! She's really selfish and she likes to throw temper tantrums. She also likes to throw things and break things and make really big messes! _

_Did you know that her first word was "mine?" _

_I think she learned it from Jade. For two whole years now, she and Beck have __still__ been fighting over the twins. She still doesn't like anyone holding them or touching them and she says they're hers whenever it comes up. Beck gets really upset about it and doesn't like it and makes them yell louder when he says "they're mine too." _

_I hardly say that word because I think it's bad and that everyone needs to share (unless it's a toothbrush because that's really gross)._

_Jade says I haven't been disciplining her as much as I should, but Jensen cries whenever Jade disciplines him, and I don't want to make my little princess cry! She tends to get really mad when we do something she doesn't like, and she'll go sit in a corner. The first time she did it, I got really scared because she wouldn't let me pick her up and she would start screaming if I touched her. I was the only one at home and didn't know what to do, so I called my mommy and she told me to try bribing her with food. Cassie really likes gummy worms (especially now that she's teething) so I gave her some cut up ones and she was happy._

_My mommy noticed that Cassie doesn't like sharing. She won't share her toys with the twins and she likes to try and pull off Jensen's dresses because she thinks they're hers. (Well, they're Darla's dresses, but that's all Jensen will wear. He used to pull off his clothes after Jade dressed him and would crawl around the house in only his diaper. I got bored one day and put one of Darla's dresses on him and he didn't take it off, so now Jade lets him wear them even though she doesn't like it.)_

_Oh! I almost forgot: Cassie also refuses to learn how to walk. Darla learned how to do it last month and Jensen's still learning, but Cassie doesn't want to. If she wants to go anywhere, she'll beg me to pick her up or crawl when I don't (but I usually pick her up). I tried teaching her, but she refuses to take a step forward or anything._

_It's been a while since I wrote in you, but I'll try to keep writing. I've just been so busy with Cassie, and I'm starting college soon, so I'll be even busier! I can't wait to go to UCLA, though; that's been mine and Jade's dream since we met each other! I feel really bad, though, because Robbie wanted to go to USC but turned it down so he could go to the community college Beck's going to; before everything happened during junior year, USC was all Robbie talked about; it was his dream school. I try not to talk about college with him because I don't want to make him sad…_

_Daniel told me where he's going, but I don't remember. He's gonna be close and he's not going to live on campus; he said he didn't want to be too far from Cassie._

_I haven't talked to Tori that much, but she said that baby Antonio is just fine. She said he's not really small like other premature babies are and he looks as big as Darla and Jensen. I think Jade and I might visit her soon so we can let our babies have a fun play date!_

_I'm really scared of the future though. _

_I don't remember if I told you, but Robbie moved in with us the month after senior year started and I've been falling in love with him a little more every day! Did you know he's allergic to the stuff they make garden gnomes out of? Or that he laughs when someone says avocado because it reminds him of a dirty word? But…as much as I love him, I know he loves me back just the same, and he's going to want to do…what I did to get Cassie. Jade made me get these pills that I have to take every day so I won't have a baby, but I just…don't want to do THAT again. Jade says that sometimes birth control doesn't work and that's how Darla and Jensen got here, so I'm really worried. And like…it's hard not to want to do that with Robbie because we sleep in the same bed and he's really…touchy (but in a good way that makes me feel really tingly). I'm afraid to talk to him about that too, but he doesn't try to push me like Daniel did._

_Hopefully everything will work itself out and we'll stay happy._

_Until next time!_

_XOXO,_

_Cat_

**_~*This is a fight to the death*~_**

Cat sat in the middle of the floor, her back pressed to the front of the couch with her legs outstretched and crossed at the ankles. She smiled slightly to herself as she watched the three toddlers playing in front of her. Beck and Jade were on another of their weekly date nights—instituted the summer after the twins were born so they could still have a semblance of their pre-baby lives—and Robbie was staying with his parents for the weekend since it was their anniversary, leaving Cat to watch Cassie, Darla, and Jensen all by herself.

(Beck would never tell Jade, but it annoyed him that she wouldn't trust him to be alone with the babies. He couldn't feed them by himself, bathe them by himself, or even put them to bed by himself; Jade always had to be with him if he was going to be around them. He also knew that Cat was allowed to hold the twins more than he was—and it hurt him—but he didn't have the energy to fight with Jade about it anymore. He kept telling himself that she needed more time; it took her a few months to let him hold the twins, so maybe a few more months would pass and she would trust him more.)

Cat's hand moved to her stomach.

It had been two years since she had Cassie—since she got pregnant her Junior year of high school—but she could never forget the feeling of having a little life growing inside of her. Near the end, Cat hated being pregnant, but it gave her a purpose. Knowing that she had a child growing inside of her, that it could do nothing else but depend on her, gave Cat a sense of power and belonging unlike anything she'd ever felt before.

She missed the feeling, but she didn't want to get pregnant again anytime soon.

"Mine!" Cassie shouted as she pulled a Miami Kate doll out of Jensen's hand.

Cat quickly crawled over to her daughter and placed her hand on the doll. "No, Cassie," she reprimanded in a calm voice, "We don't take things from people. It's bad! If you can't play nice then I'm going to take the toys away."

Cassie looked up at her mother for a moment before throwing the doll down on the ground, crawling away as it bounced on the carpet and landed on its face. Then Cassie proceeded to crawl over to the corner beside the doorway to the kitchen and sat facing the wall.

Cat was a very lenient mother, which allowed Cassie to develop unwanted traits (like placing herself in her favorite corner until someone apologized to her or gave her something to eat.) She would even sometimes rip up blankets and pillows and throw the stuffing around the room.

If she didn't have Cat's eyes and curly, brown hair or Danny's lips, everyone would probably assume she was Jade's daughter.

Darla, on the other hand—who actually _was_ Jade's daughter—acted nothing like Cassie or Jade. She was a sweet little baby and smiled whenever she caught someone looking at her, a trait attributed from her father. Her hair grew quickly and now hung in black ringlets down to her shoulders. Her eyes, which had been brown when she was born, had shifted to a light grey color. She wasn't speaking yet, but she and her brother had taken to pointing and making small noises when they wanted things.

Neither of the twins was as bad as Cassie.

Jensen, who had his mother's complexion when he was born, was still ghostly white and his eyes had darkened to a light brown, possibly a shade lighter than Beck's. Like his mother, Jensen wasn't very friendly and didn't take kindly to strangers. While he played with his sister without a fuss, he usually refused to play with Cassie or rarely paid attention to her. At first, he would cry whenever Cat tried to pick him up or play with him, but he causally warmed up to her. Whenever anyone else tried to play with him, he would slap them on the wrist or throw whatever he could find at them. He also had an aversion to clothes and would pull them off.

He currently wore Darla's white sundress while Darla wore a tiny pair of overalls with a pink T-shirt.

Cat pulled herself onto the couch and picked up her phone.

She would worry about Cassie later; Jade suggested not running over to the toddler as soon as she got upset in order to break one of Cassie's bad habits.

At first she checked for a text from Robbie, though she didn't have high hopes of him texting her back quickly; there was hardly any service in the NorCal mountains, and Robbie was spending the weekend with his parents in one of the many dead zones.

With a sigh of resignation, she opened Danny's message thread; they were on...better speaking terms—because of Cassie—but Cat didn't entirely enjoy spending time with him anymore. As much as she didn't want to, she texted Danny and asked if he wanted to come over and help babysit. If Jade didn't come home early from her date with Beck, she wouldn't know that Danny had been there without Robbie present, and she wouldn't get mad if Danny was alone with Cat and the babies.

While she stared at the screen in wait, she felt a tug on her leg. She looked down to see Darla gazing up at her with her big grey eyes, book in hand. Cat smiled down at the toddler and took Jade's enlarged, tattered copy of The Great Gatsby from Darla's chubby little fingers.

Beck thought it would be a good idea to read to the babies because he read that it would help them read and talk faster, but Jade was not big on reading them fairytales; they were nothing but sexist fabrications with unrealistic expectations for men and women.

Right now, Beck and Jade had settled on The Great Gatsby because it wouldn't be too hard for the children to understand and it was Jade's guilty pleasure.

Cat didn't like the book, but enjoyed reading it to Darla and Jensen and listening to Darla try to repeat words; Cat read it once for her English class, and she didn't like how mean Tom was to Myrtle or how monotonously Nick narrated the story.

She set the book down beside her on the couch and picked Darla up, settling the little girl on her lap. "Jensen," Cat called softly. "Do you want to read with us?"

The baby boy didn't respond; he simply sat with his back to them as he smashed Miami Kate's head into her pink beach house.

"Jensen," Cat called a little louder.

Still no response.

Putting Darla back on the floor, she got up and walked over to the toddler playing on the floor. She knelt down in front of him, but he didn't take his eyes off the doll. "Do you want to read with me and your sister?" she asked in a normal voice. He didn't react. Cat t took in a deep breath and called his name as loud as she could. The little boy looked up at her and smiled brightly, but there was a look in his eye that made Cat wonder whether or not he knew she'd been talking to him.

Cat opened and closed her hands, gesturing a book, and pointed to the couch where Darla sat patiently on the floor, playing with the hem of her overalls. Jensen looked back at Cat for a brief moment and crawled over to his sister. Instead of waiting for Cat to pick him up and put him on the couch, he climbed up on it and held the book in his hands. Cat quickly made her way over to the twins and picked Darla up, putting the baby girl in her lap once she sat down. Jensen perched himself on Cat's other leg and held the book out to her. Cocooning the children in her arms, Cat started the second chapter.

Occasionally, Cat would read a word and Darla would try and try to repeat it, messing it up in a very cute way, but Jensen acted like he wasn't paying attention to the story and stared at the pages blankly, which worried Cat; she would ask Beck and Jade if he did the same with them when they got home from their date.

When Cat was just about to start Chapter three where Nick receives an invitation to Gatsby's party, the doorbell rang. "It's open," she announced, unwilling to stir the twins.

Cat expected her mother or her brother to push the door up open, but was pleasantly surprised when Tori popped in. She smiled brightly, noticing baby Antonio on Tori's hip.

"Hey, Cat," Tori greeted warmly as she entered the house, "I tried calling you a half hour ago; I was kinda worried when you didn't pick up."

Cat looked down at her phone and saw two missed call notifications and an incoming text notification. "I guess I forgot to turn the sound back on," she said as she looked back to her friend. "I turned it off when I had to put the babies down for their naps."

Tori closed the door and walked over to the couch. She put Antonio on the floor and sat down beside him in front of Cat. As soon as she did, Antonio stood up and started to stumble away. However, his mother quickly grabbed him by his sides and put him in her lap. "He learned how to walk last week," she told Cat with a tiny laugh, "And now I can't get him to sit still!"

Cat laughed as well. "That's so cute!" she exclaimed. Her smile dropped. "Cassie won't let me teach her how to walk." She noticed Tori's quizzical look and nodded toward the kitchen. "She's over there in the corner." Tori looked over and nodded when she saw Cassie facing the wall with her arms crossed.

"I thought she would have gotten over that by now," she mumbled.

"Jade's trying to help me make her stop," Cat breathed sadly. She smiled as she looked back to Antonio. "Can he talk yet?"

Tori nodded with a bright smile. "It's just random words right now," she answered, "But he can say my name; he calls me that instead of 'Mama.' Andre doesn't really like it, but I think it's cute."

"How's Andre? It's been so long since we talked!"

"I know," Tori sighed. "We've both just been really busy lately; he's putting a lot of focus on his music and I'm putting a lot of effort into taking care of _mi angelito_."

Cat gasped in wonder. "What does that mean?"

"'My little angel,'" Tori responded as she tousled his messy black hair.

Cat took note of Tori's son. This was the first time she had seen Antonio since the week after he and Cassie were born, and Cat was starting to wonder. Looking at Antonio, she didn't see much of Andre in him; he had black hair, but Tori and Andre both had different shades of brown. His eyes were shaped like Tori's, but Cat wasn't sure whose lips he had. She wasn't sure if he was supposed to be dark like Andre, but he was probably a shade lighter than Tori.

Jade said not to say anything about how small Antonio was, but Antonio didn't look small like the pictures from the internet Jade showed her; he looked as big as Cassie and the doctor told Cat that Cassie wasn't born early enough for her to be significantly smaller than a normal baby. Even with achondroplasia, Cassie had been the normal size and weight for a toddler her age. But Cat wasn't too sure about Antonio…

Tori wouldn't hide anything about her baby, would she?

Cat put Jensen down on the ground and Antonio struggled in Tori's lap. "Play!" he cried. "Play with baby!"

Tori giggled slightly and set Antonio down next to Jensen. "So is there any reason why Jade's son's wearing a dress?"

"That's all he'll keep on," Cat retorted with a small smile.

Tori looked with a smile to Darla who sat on Cat's leg, playing with the hem of Cat's shirt. "You must be the only normal one in this house, Miss Darla."

Darla looked up when she heard her name and smiled before going back to playing with Cat's shirt.

Tori laughed at Darla's cute shyness and sat with her and Cat on the couch. Her smile quickly fell and she began to wring her hands in her lap. Her unease radiated to Cat, but the redhead didn't speak. Tori took in a deep breath before looking up to her friend. "Can…can I ask you something?"

Cat looked at Tori inquisitively with a disbelieving smile. "Of course you can!" she exclaimed. "Why would you even ask that?"

Tori looked back down at her hands and sighed. "I just…don't know who to talk to about this," she mumbled. She looked up at Cat with sad eyes. "Andre…I'm worried about him…"

Cat gasped and held Darla a little tighter while the little girl held onto Cat's arms. "Is he sick?"

Tori shook her head and stood up. She began to pace around the room, wringing her hands and looking at her feet.

Darla looked up at the Latina and eyed her curiously. She pointed at Tori and made worried little noises, but Cat just quietly shushed her and put her hand down gently. Darla frowned for a moment and slumped on Cat's lap, resting the back of her head on Cat's chest.

Tori took in another deep breath and spun around to face Cat. "We…He…Andre's been really…distant lately," Tori confided. "He's really into his music—and I understand that since it's what he wants to do with his life—but he hasn't been paying any attention to me or Antonio. I love him, Cat, but lately it feels like he doesn't love me or our son." She wrung the hem of her blouse in her hands and her eyes began to water. "His parents kicked him out of the house when they found out I was pregnant, and I did so much to get my parents to let him stay with us until he can buy us a house, so he could at least give us the time of day! I'm tired all the time because I have to do all the work when it comes to taking care of the baby but I put up with it for so long because I kept hoping it would get better. I'm…I'm starting to think nothing's going to change. We haven't even—" She eyed the boys playing on the floor and Darla in Cat's lap skeptically. "—hugged each other in almost a year and a half!"

Cat gasped again. "That's a long time to go without hugging!" she cried.

Tori bit her lip. "You know I don't really mean hugging, right?" she clarified uneasily.

Cat looked confused. "So, you two still hug, right? Everyone needs to be hugged…"

"Well…not really," Tori answered looking away, "But I mean…we haven't been…_intimate_."

Cat stood up, clinging to Darla and trying to cover her tiny ears. "You can't say that in front of the babies!" she hissed. "You'll make them think bad thoughts!"

Tori rolled her eyes and picked Antonio up. He struggled a little, reaching out to Jensen, but Tori held him tightly. "I should go," she said in annoyance. "I'm sorry I brought anything up."

"But why don't you try harder to make him do the stuff you used to do before the baby was born?" Cat suggested, sitting back down.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, why don't you try to distract him from his music?" Cat threw out. "Jade says that guys all want the same thing, so try doing whatever that thing is. You could try hugging him more…but give him _special_ hugs. Beck and Jade still go on dates, so try getting him to go on one with you. I bet your mommy would babysit for you!"

Tori smiled brightly. "That's a great idea, Cat!" she exclaimed. "Thanks so much."

"You're welcome," Cat smiled. "I hope everything works for you!"

Tori opened her mouth to say something else when Antonio started fidgeting in his arms. He started tugging on Tori's hair and she let out a small pained noise before unlocking his tiny fingers from her brunette locks. "Someone's cranky," Tori cooed as she tapped Antonio's nose. He whined softly, and Tori waved to Cat. "He hasn't been sleeping well, lately," she announced. "But the family doctor said that we should let him sleep whenever he needs to; his schedule will work itself out. He tried sleeping in the car, but the ride wasn't very smooth. I'll see you later, Cat."

"Bye, bye!" Cat parted, picking up Darla's wrist so the little girl could wave goodbye.

**_~*This is a fight to the death*~_**

Jade picked at her steak aimlessly, just as she'd been doing since it arrived five minutes ago.

"You know they brought that out for you to eat, right?" Beck asked before taking a sip of his wine.

Jade looked up through her lashes and smirked. "You know I love it when you do that," she gushed coyly.

"I'm only drinking wine," Beck pointed out with a small laugh.

"I know," Jade breathed, "But you're still not old enough to legally drink it. It's kinda hot going on a date with a seemingly older man. You didn't even get carded."

Beck raised an eyebrow with a small smile. "It's the little things about you that make me love you even more," he assured her.

"I love you, too," Jade breathed before taking a sip of her water.

Beck sat down his wine glass and ate another piece of his dwindled Chicken Marsala. "We still haven't set the wedding date," he reminded casually, keeping his eyes on his dish. Whenever he brought up the wedding, Jade grew uneasy and quickly changed the subject. He didn't expect her to stay on topic, but another skeptical look from his fiancé would kill him.

Jade sighed dejectedly and stabbed at her steak again. She hoped he wouldn't bring up the wedding, but the thought hadn't left her mind. She'd been thinking about it non-stop for the past week and she had no clue why. Obviously, she wanted to be Beck, but she wasn't honestly sure she wanted to marry him.

Honestly, she worried about her future with him; what would happen if she married him? What would happen if he couldn't make any more children and—God forbid—she wanted them? What would happen if she couldn't have any more children and he wanted them? She highly doubted that she would ever cheat on him like her mother supposedly did to her father, but what if he cheated on her? Sure they'd been together for four years, but what if they became unhappy like her mother and her father had been?

She couldn't tell Beck any of this; he'd simply dismiss it and never bring it up again. How would they be able to make their marriage work if they couldn't talk about the important things that she worried about? She didn't know what to do, so the only thing she could do was stall the wedding.

"My brother's up for parole," she announced, keeping her eyes on her plate and refusing to acknowledge the previous topic. "I got a letter in the mail."

Beck sighed. "Well that's not so bad," he mumbled. "He can't come anywhere near you, so he can't bother you."

Jade put her fork down and looked up at Beck through her lashes. "You know I don't really worry about this kinda stuff," she began skeptically, "But it kinda bothers me…thinking about why he did what he did to me. I just…I don't understand how he could hate me so much, you know?"

"Why does his opinion matter?" Beck questioned in a harsh tone. "He hurt you and almost _killed_ you, Jade."

Jade dropped her fork and glared at her fiancé. "I _know_ he did," she snarled. "But I don't know _why_, dammit. I want to know what could make my brother, my own _flesh and blood_, hate me so much. Excuse me if you don't think that's important!"

Unintentionally, her voice rose and other patrons began to turn their attention to the table. Beck, as observant as ever, noticed the onlookers and shrank into himself. He narrowed his eyes at Jade. "_Please_ lower your voice," he commandeered quietly. "We'll talk about this later. Finish your dinner, okay?"

Jade scoffed and rolled her eyes, falling back in her chair and crossing her arms. She pursed her lips for a moment before taking her napkin and tossing it onto her plate. "I _hate_ how you always do that," she sneered. "You say we'll talk about it later, but it _never_ comes up again." She shot up from her chair and picked up her glass, raising it in a toast. "Let's never talk about this again, either!"

With that, she chucked the glass as hard as she could at Beck. He ducked and it flew into the wall behind him, not before another couple ducked out of the way, and shattered into a thousand, wet pieces. Jade picked up her plate and smashed it onto the ground at her feet. Steak juice and mashed potatoes splattered onto the crimson rug and a few other bar patrons shelled out noises of terror.

Jade grabbed her purse and pointed a finger at Beck who stared at her in awe. "Don't even _think_ about coming home tonight," she threatened.

And as Jade stormed out of the restaurant, Beck felt his heart drop. He had planned for this to be a wonderful night, to celebrate their anniversary since he'd be going out of town for a family issue the night before their anniversary, but he'd managed to screw it up. He _knew_ that Jade's brother was a touchy subject, but he hated when Jade talked about him. The reminder of what he did to Jade—that he could have been the father of Jade's babies—infuriated Beck and he never wanted anyone to mention the bastard ever again. He couldn't help but get upset whenever that monster was mentioned, but he could have handled the situation better.

Now Jade was pissed off at him and he had nowhere to sleep tonight.

**_~*This is a fight to the death*~_**

By the time Tori got home from Cat's, Andre was already passed out on the couch; she didn't assume he would be awake since he'd stayed up the entire night before working on the melody to one of his songs. Upon seeing her boyfriend asleep on the couch, Tori carried Antonio on her hip upstairs as his head lulled slightly from exhaustion.

She moved carefully up the steps so as not to wake him or his father and made her way to Trina's old room. Trina—who had already been living with a friend who made a living photographing fruit—thought it would be better for everyone if she gave up her room to her nephew, and had surprised everyone with her act of kindness. (The power of her act diminished when her family found out that her friend was a gorgeous Australian trying to make it in America.)

As soon as she put Antonio in his crib, he fell fast asleep. Tori tip-toed out of the room quietly and checked her phone when she gently closed the door to the nursery. The screen lit up with a text from Danny.

**_I called u n ur house. Were u wit cat?_**

Tori bit her lip uneasily. She and Danny hadn't really been talking, and she'd been avoiding him all week when he'd tried to contact her. She told him last week that they needed to talk in person because it was important, but she kept backing out whenever he tried to make arrangements.

Taking in a deep breath, she texted him back and told him to meet her at her house, as well as to come to the backdoor. Hopefully, Andre wouldn't wake up.

She needed to get this off her chest.


	2. Disaster

**_Hey everyone! I got an inspiration burst Saturday and I started working on the second chapter. I had a solid three hours to work on the chapter but I was on the way home and didn't get a chance to work on it the rest of Saturday. I worked on it a lot yesterday and almost had it finished, but I'm kinda sick so I sort of passed out (thank God or whoever the document saved)._**

**_So I'm hoping to get at least 5,000 words on each chapter (which is shorter than I went for on the first story. _**

**_A LOT happens in this chapter and I'm pretty proud about it. However, there was a little TOO much going on so I had to cut a scene. Don't worry though! It'll be in another chapter (maybe chapter 3 or 4)._**

**_Again, updates are going to be a little sporadic, but I might be more motivated to work writing into my schedule if I get lots of reviews!_**

**_Until next time,_**

**_Skye_**

* * *

**_"Chapter 2 – Disaster"_**

_"Because you need me like a throat needs a knife. You're the cross, and I am Jesus Christ. I am the corpse; you are the maggots inside me. Now it's time to give up the fight." – The Used_

_Jade awakens to a bright white light. _

_She holds her hand over her eyes to prevent the harsh light and sits up. She looks around, confused by the surrounding white walls; when she'd fallen asleep in anger at her fiancé, the calming purple shade of her room nursed her to sleep. She looks down, taking note of her sweetheart-cut, white gown that fans over the white sheets of her unfamiliar bed. She blinks and a large, black door appears at the edge of the room, strikingly contrast to the walls as pale as her skin. She starts to move her legs to inspect the foreign object when the sound of a crying baby fills her ears. It starts out as a faint sound, but quickly escalates until a second baby joins in and doubles the volume. _

_She quickly recognizes the cries of her twin toddlers._

_Jade snaps back and forth, scanning the small space for any sign of her children as the crying intensifies. The crying grows louder to the point where she shrinks back onto the bed, her knees against her chest and her hands clamped tightly over her ears. Her ears are to the point of splitting open when the crying suddenly stops, leaving an annoying ringing in her pounding eardrums._

_She takes her hands from her ears and all is eerily quiet._

_Loud, continuous banging on the black door visibly startles Jade and her breath catches. Suddenly, her body feels heavier. She looks down to see her grotesquely enlarged stomach. A sharp kick emerges inside her and hits her ribcage. She doubles over in pain, clenching her eyes shut tightly and wrapping her arms around her swollen belly. _

_Something isn't right. _

_Fear begins to course through her veins as the hair on the back of her neck stands on end. When the pain from the kick subsides, Jade lazily opens her mouth to tell whatever it is to shut up, but no sound comes out. She forces all of her depleting energy forward and pushes herself back on her bed, pressing her back tightly against the headboard and preparing herself for the worst._

_The door flies open, slamming against the wall with a deafening crack, and Jade flinches at the intensity._

_At first, she stares into the dark void of the doorway. For a moment, she freezes against the headboard, utterly terrified to move. But when nothing happens, she lets her guard down and relaxes. She doesn't, however, move from the bed._

_Something seems strangely familiar…_

_In a flash of static, a figure appears in the doorway. Though the doorway isn't out of Jade's range of sight, she can't make out the figure's face. However, she can tell it's a man, and she can feel that he's familiar. His clothes are a blur, but she can distinguish the dark green of his pants and the light green of his short-sleeved shirt, almost like camouflage attire. She can also make out the small tattoo beneath the hem of his right sleeve; she can't see the tattoo, but she knows there is a name written in delicate cursive decorating the man's arm. _

_Without warning, her breath catches in her throat again and she gasps for air. The sharp kicking doubles inside her womb and Jade struggles to breathe. As she claws at her neck, the figure appears in front of her and his hands clasp around her neck._

_Jade pries at his wrists, gasping for air as she looks into his cold blue-green eyes. She tries to scream, but her air is quickly depleting. Her hands fall limp onto the bed, her will to fight back diminished. The man's grasp on her neck only tightens, making sure he finishes the job._

_And just as she's about to die, she finally sees his face clearly._

Jade shot up in her bed with a sharp gasp, cold sweat coating her body. Her eyes frantically darted around the room, instantly calmed by the sight of her normal purple and black décor, not a trace of white in sight. She closed her eyes and took in a deep breath to steady herself; then she wiped the few tears from her eyes before going to check on the children.

For a week now, she had the same nightmare about her estranged brother. The memory of his hands around her throat—his nails digging into her skin—as he tried to take her life replayed in her head every waking moment. The memory manifested into her subconscious, permanently burned into her brain.

No matter what, Jade would never be able to escape.

Maybe that's why she wanted closure; she wasn't big on psychotherapy or all that mumbo jumbo, but she had a strong feeling that she would never be able to let go of everything that had happened to her until she knew the _why_.

And Beck didn't understand that.

He didn't understand anything when it came to Liam. Jade told herself she never needed to talk about her problems because she _didn't_ have them, but _Liam_ was her problem and—now that she needed it—there was no one there to help her.

For the past three nights, Jade made Beck stay at his parents' house. After the night at the restaurant, he went there on his own and called Jade the next morning to see if he could come home. She said all of two words to him before hanging up on him, and he stayed in his parents' home for the second night in a row.

Last night, however, he spent all night on an airplane.

Today, he would be in Canada with his family to attend his great-aunt's funeral and the reading of her will. He didn't much remember her, but she loved him and he was her only great-nephew. He would miss the first day of college, as well as their anniversary, and he wouldn't see Jade until the day after tomorrow—that is, if she let him come home.

Instead of going to pick up her children, Jade simply peered into the nursery to see Darla and Jensen sleeping soundly. Upon seeing her sleeping children, her hand reflexively moved to her stomach. She could feel the ghost of her unborn children's tiny feet and she cringed. She'd almost died trying to bring them into the world—from her brother almost beating her to death to her body being nearly unable to carry both of them—but she was glad they were here.

When she was younger, her mother used to tell Jade that she was an active baby in her mother's tummy, that—at times—Jade hurt her mother with how much she moved, and she would never forget being pregnant with her only daughter. Jade had a feeling she would never forget being pregnant with her twins, either.

She looked over and looked at Cassie who slept curled into a tiny ball in her crib. Mountains of stuffed animals in various colors surrounded her and she looked peaceful. Sometimes, for a chuckle, Jade wondered if Cassie was _her_ daughter instead of Cat's because she acted nothing like her redheaded mother.

Jade contemplated going to pick up Cassie, but remained outside.

Cat was more lenient in letting people hold her daughter, and Cassie loved to be picked up; it made her feel like the center of attention. Out of everyone Cassie had ever met—which consisted of a whole eight people—she loved her Auntie Jade and would usually whine if Jade didn't pick her up whenever she was near. Sometimes, Jade would cave and pick up the little girl, but let her sit there and whine other times so she would learn to break her habit.

Only Cat was allowed to pick up Darla and Jensen whenever she wanted, and Beck was only allowed to pick them up when Jade was around. Jade was very protective of her children and refused to let anything happen to them. Though she loved Beck and knew deep in her heart that he would never do anything to hurt them, her brother left her with dark reservations toward her fiancé. She could honestly say that she would let him be alone with them one day, but that day wasn't going to be any day soon.

And he should be happy with just holding them right now.

Jade sighed as she closed the door to the nursery and retreated to her room. She looked at her phone on her bedside table and groaned when she saw the time.

_6:58 am._

She wouldn't be able to get back to sleep now…

It was a very good thing she didn't start school until tomorrow; she doubted she would be able to go today. She probably wouldn't be able to go at all with the lack of sleep she'd been getting.

Falling back onto her bed, Jade realized what she had to do if she ever wanted to sleep soundly again.

**_~*How can I let go? I'm not holding on*~_**

As much as she didn't want to, Jade pulled up to the state prison and parked her car near the edge of the parking lot as far from the towering stone building as possible. She pulled down her visor and adjusted her blonde wig in the mirror.

Technically, it was against the law for Jade to come within 200 feet of Liam because of the restraining order put out against him. If she were to walk into the prison without a disguise, the state would be notified and her restraining order would be null and void without the possibility of renewal.

If she was going to do this, she couldn't be Jade West.

When she was fifteen, she met a guy who got her a fake ID. Luckily, her face hadn't changed much since she got the fake ID and now, she would once again be Lindsey Martin from Houston, Texas.

Before getting out of the car, Jade put in a few drops of contact solution so the brown-tinted film over her eye wouldn't dry out. After fixing the hem of her blue blouse, Jade climbed out of her car and made her way to the prison.

Of all the places she could be on the Sunday before her first day of college, she _had_ to be here.

When she entered the prison, Jade was forced to go through a metal detector after relinquishing everything around her neck, on her hands, and in her pocket. She was allowed to keep her eyebrow piercing in, and she would get her phone back at the end of her visit. However, she would not be able to retrieve anything that could be considered a weapon, such as the pocket knife she forgot she had in her pocket.

She could always get another one.

After being cleared by the security, Jade made her way to the desk to check in. As the man looked over her ID, Jade felt a little nervous. It said her natural color was brown, but people died their hair all the time. Hopefully he wouldn't be able to tell she was wearing colored contacts and would believe they were her God-given eyes. He eyed her credentials curiously for a moment and continuously shifted his gaze from it to her.

Jade held her breath, waiting for him to expose her as a fraud and notify the proper authorities. She would be taken away, her restraining order would be thrown out the window allowing Liam to contact her and her children if he managed to get parole, and she would be sent to jail for identity fraud.

"You're clear to go," the officer announced as he handed Jade her ID back. He used his pen to point. "Go through those doors and pick an empty table. The inmate will be out in a minute."

Jade nodded and followed the direction of his pen, letting out a slow sigh of relief.

She was early, so there weren't very many people in the room. There was only an elderly couple sitting at a table at the edge of the room, talking to their son with a large face tattoo. The woman reached out to him and held his hand, stroking her thumb against the back of it. The man sat as tall as he short stature would allow with a hard face. He didn't look please as his wife comforted their child.

Jade resisted the urge to puke and sat herself in the middle of the room.

Here it was: the moment she'd been waiting for.

With the moment so close, she grew more and more anxious. This would be the first time she'd seen Liam in two years. What would she say to him? How would she go about talking to him? All the plans and precautions she'd thought of earlier that morning had disappeared and she only had her terrified stature left.

Whatever was about to happen, it would probably be for the best.

Jade stared at her hands on the table as she waited for her brother. She could hear the overhead clock ticking loudly in front of her. _What's taking so long?_

When the door leading to the cells clicked, Jade's head snapped up. A guard held the door open as shiny, silver wheels rolled into view. Effortlessly, the wheels turned and rolled closer into the room. Jade kept her eyes low, refusing to look him in the eyes as the guard instructed him to her table.

The door closed just as he wheeled up to Jade's table.

"You know," he began lowly, "A restraining order works both ways; I can't come near you and you can't come near me."

"I know that," Jade mumbled, glaring at her hands. "I just…need to ask you something."

He pursed his lips. "I only have two words for you."

Jade looked up with determined eyes. "Please," she begged. "I just wanna know _why_. Why did you hate me so much? Why did you do the things you did to me? What did I ever do to you?"

He chuckled in disbelief. "You're so goddamn selfish and you don't even know it," he spat with a sneer. "'What did I ever do to you?' You're so fucking _stupid_!"

She flinched at his mocking tone.

"Inmate!" one of the guards barked. "Settle down."

He ignored the guard. "You think what I did to _you _was bad?" he hissed, leaning closer. "You don't know a _goddamn_ thing about anything."

"What are you talking about?" Jade asked, glaring at him.

He chuckled and sat back in his wheelchair. "Before you were born," he started in a calm voice. "My daddy used to touch me, just like I did to you. I wasn't the best kid at the time, so he thought it was a good idea to teach me a lesson, just like I did you. He and Mama weren't too happy with each other, so maybe that's why the idea popped into his head. But instead of any time during the day, he'd sneak into my room late at night after Mama was asleep.

"The first time he did it, I cried. I didn't cry because it hurt; I cried because I sat in my bed wondering 'why in the hell would my own father hurt me like that?' He told me 'This might hurt, son, but take it like a man.' So I had to grin and bear it, but it still hurt.

"I thought: 'if I'm not bad, he won't punish me,' so I forced myself to be good in school and at home. But no matter how good I was, he still kept coming into my room every night. I love my dad, no matter how bad he was to me, but I used to hate him. He made me hate myself; I didn't know why my father hated me as much as he did, but I knew there was nothing I could do to change that. I was scared of him, just like I made you scared of me. The difference between you and me, though, is that I knew I didn't deserve what he did.

"When Mama told us she was pregnant, I knew something wasn't right; Dad knew it too. For the first month after she told us, he would hurt me more than he used to, to the point where I thought I was going to die. And every night when I cried myself to sleep, I would think to myself about that little baby growing in my mama's stomach and how it didn't belong to my dad."

Jade crossed her arms. "And how could you _possibly_ know that?" she sneered. "You were only five when I was born."

"That don't mean shit," he told her, eyes narrowed. "I knew that Mama wasn't happy and she didn't love Dad like she used to. When she told me that she was pregnant, it shocked me that she loved him enough to have another kid with him, but he kept hurting me more and that made me wonder. And when I saw that guy she was seeing at the time—_your_ dad—I just knew that you weren't really my sister.

"Dad knew for sure that you weren't his and it just made him angrier and angrier at me. Whenever Mama wasn't home, he would touch me and hit me. Sometimes he even cut me. I still have burn scars on the back of my legs from where he used use them as ashtrays for his cigars. I'd show you, but I'm a little incapacitated at the moment."

Jade sneered at his snide comment and resisted the urge to flip him off as he smirked deviously.

"When you were three, I caught him sneaking into your room while you were sleeping. He tried doing the same with you, but I stopped him; I remember hitting him and screaming as loud as I could to make him leave you alone. If Mama would've been home, she probably would have killed him right then and there. I did everything I could to protect you, Jade, and you never knew a thing about it.

"And finally when I was ten, Mama found out about what Dad was doing and I _finally_ had someone looking out for me the way I looked out for you. She found out about how he touched me after she noticed all the bruises I had; she threatened to take you and me away from him and put him in jail. She didn't believe in divorce but she did believe in separation and, looking back, I saw that she felt trapped in her marriage; I was her ticket away from him.

"Because of her, I didn't have to worry about getting hurt anymore; that made me love her more than you'll ever know. I did so much to prove I was worth her love and that I was worth her saving me, but she still bent over backwards for you. You took her for granted and she died because of you."

He leaned in and made sure he held her gaze intently. "You killed the only person who truly loved me," he accused lowly.

"I did not!" Jade screamed as she shot up from her seat.

"Miss," the guard shouted in annoyance. "Calm down before I have you escorted out!"

"I am calm!" she snapped as she sat back down. She narrowed her eyes at her half-brother. "Her death was an _accident_," she hissed. "It was raining and she slid off the road. I told her that she didn't have to come get me, that I would go home with Beck, but she insisted." She pointed a finger at him. "You have _no right_ to blame what happened to her on me."

Liam sighed as he placed his arms on the rests of his chair. "I'm not saying I blame you anymore," he told her honestly. "Being here for a few years gives you time to think about important stuff. They made me go to these classes where we talk about why we're here and what caused us to do those things. I realized in those classes that I was wrong for blaming you; I was just so angry and hurt that Mama died. It made me wish that I had done things differently, that I hadn't used the military as an excuse to get away from Dad."

"So do you still hate me?" Jade asked meekly. She wasn't sure what answer she was looking for or why she even asked. Maybe this would be her closure.

Liam took a moment to mull over his thoughts before answering. "I…guess I don't," he finally spoke. "I thought I did, but now I realize that I only hated myself. And doing that, I became just like my father." He took in a deep breath and closed his eyes. "I'm sorry for what I did to you," he apologized when he opened his eyes.

Jade bit her lip and fought back tears.

There it was: the words she came to hear. It felt as if a giant weight had been lifted off her shoulders, as if she could finally breathe again. The world didn't feel so heavy anymore, like whatever had been holding her down had been cut away until there was nothing left.

She felt free.

"I'm not asking you to forgive me for what I've done," Liam added morosely. "I wouldn't blame you if you never did."

Jade reached over the small table and placed her hand on his. "You don't know how much this means to me," she told him quietly with a small smile. "One day…I'll know I'll be able to forgive you. But considering all the shit we've been through, this is a big step for us."

Liam smiled and placed his hand on top of his sister's. "Can you promise me you'll send me pictures of our kids?" he asked hopefully.

Jade's smile dropped and she pulled her hand back. "You know I can't do that," she reminded him, keeping her eyes on the table. If she truly wanted to, she could send him pictures of Darla and Jensen by using a fake name and address, but she would never be able to explain that to Beck. And what would happen if he saw the picture of Darla? It was almost painfully obvious how little she looked like him. She could probably lie and say that one of the babies died and only send him pictures of Jensen, but that felt wrong.

On the other hand, how could she tell him that they're not his? There was no doubt he would get angry about the fact that they weren't his kids; he'd probably try to kill her again. All the progress they'd made in this short session would be pointless. Nothing would ever change.

"I…can't let you see them," she said, keeping her eyes locked on the plastic, brown table. "They can't know anything about you." She looked into his blue-green eyes. "You're gonna want to write to them and have them see your picture. If you get parole, you're going to try and see them in person. I can't explain any of that to them, Liam." She stood up and collected her things. "I have to get home…"

"Wait," Liam pleaded as she turned to leave. Reluctantly, Jade turned back around. "I know I'm up for parole soon and I know you put out a restraining order out, but you can still be there. Tell me you'll be there…"

Jade bit her lip in deliberation. If she didn't come, she would have to write a written statement whether she agreed with his parole or not. Beck would be highly against her going to see him, but screw Beck. Maybe, if she went, Liam would see this as her starting to forgive him. And as much as she hated him for all that he'd done to her, Jade could tell that he had changed for the better.

"I'll be there," she announced after her brief hesitation.

Then, she turned on her heels and exited the prison after collecting her phone.

**_~*How can I let go? I'm not holding on*~_**

Jade waited until she pulled into her driveway to pull out her phone and call Beck. By now, Beck would be three hours ahead of her and would probably be settled in. A week ago, Beck had given her the address and number to his cousin's house where he'd be staying, but Jade had crumbled it up and tossed it somewhere in the back of her car where the rest of her junk lingered.

After rummaging through ever balled up piece of paper and scrunched up fast food bag, Jade finally found the grease-stained paper and punched in the numbers.

One ring…

Two rings…

Three rings…

Jade contemplated hanging up the phone, but then she'd be nothing more than a chicken. If no one answered, she would have to leave a voicemail.

The answering machine picked up on the fifth ring and Jade tapped her fingers on her car's window control panel.

_Beep_.

She hesitated for a brief moment and cleared her throat. "I…this is Jade…if you don't already know. I know I said a lot of things the other day, Beck, but I'm taking them back. So…when you get back to LA, you can come home. Bye."

After hanging up, she sighed deeply and went inside. When she opened the door, Cat greeted her with wide smile as she sat on the floor playing with Darla and Cassie. Jensen lay in the play pen taking a nap.

"Why are you wearing that wig?" Cat questioned with a confused stare.

Jade's eyes widened and she ripped off her blonde wig. "I was practicing in the park for an audition," she lied.

Cat gasped. "Can I come next time?" she begged. "We can take the babies with us!"

"Sure, whatever," Jade quickly retorted, heading over to the toddlers. She sat down beside Darla and picked her up, kissing her on the top of her head. She smiled at her daughter. "How's my little girl today?"

Darla cooed happily at her mother and tugged at her brown and purple locks.

"I got a letter today," Cat announced quietly as she booped Cassie on the nose. She looked up at her friend. "It's from the state court…"

Jade kept her eyes on Darla as the toddler continued to play with her mother's hair. "Don't worry about it," Jade told her softly. "You can just throw it away."

"But what if I _want_ to read it?" Cat pondered. "It seems like it'd be important."

Jade sighed and put Darla on the rug. "It's a letter saying my brother's up for parole," she stated quietly. Cat still wasn't big on talking about him, and Jade was pretty much going out on a limb to tell her about his release. She didn't expect for Cat to get a letter since she wasn't really the victim.

"What does that mean?" the redhead questioned with narrowed eyes and a serious voice.

"It means if he's good enough then he'll get out of jail early," Jade explained. "He still won't be able to come anywhere near us and the police will keep a close eye on him."

"They can't let him out!" Cat exclaimed in fear, holding Cassie closer. The little Valentine squirmed in her mother's arms and made little noises of protest.

"I doubt they'll let him out right now," Jade lied. "He almost killed me and he put Robbie in a coma. I highly doubt two years of prison would change him enough to make him a better person." With the way Liam had acted at the prison, Jade wasn't so sure that he'd stay there for long.

But Cat didn't need to know that right now.

Cat frowned and let go of Cassie slightly. The little brunette climbed off her mother's lap and crawled over to Darla.

Jade watched as the two girls played on the carpet and sighed to herself. Deep down, she honestly hoped Liam would never get his parole.

**_~*How can I let go? I'm not holding on*~_**

She didn't know why, but Jade felt today would be one worth remembering, so she opened her computer and created a Note Maker document. She wrote down everything that happened that day to make sure she'd never forget, and she put in a few extra things to make sure she would always remember the situation. It didn't take long, and she felt a little more secure after writing everything down.

Jade saved the document and closed her laptop. Beck was already fast asleep—or so she imagined—and Jade smirked at the thought of how adorable he was when he slept. She put her laptop on her bedside table and started to turn out her light when her hand grazed the top of a photo frame.

Jade picked up the frame and ran her fingers over the glass. She had framed the photo from when she was younger, the one that had her mother smiling brightly. She smiled slightly at how happy her mother looked with her husband's arm draped on her shoulder, her daughter on her hip, and her son's hand tightly gripping her own. She sighed happily and put the picture back on her bedside table.

Things were different now, but tomorrow was the start of a new day. While the pain of her past still lingered, Jade had a feeling that things would change for the better.

As she turned out the light and laid down to rest, Jade hoped her feeling was right.


	3. Walls

**_Weeeeee it's chapter threeeeeee!_**

**_So, I planned on spending all day Friday to work on this, but my friends basically kidnapped me. I probably would have had this out Saturday afternoon, but I got distracted with unimportant things. I really, really get distracted easily. Nonetheless, here's the next chapter._**

**_A word of warning: Andre may not seem like the best person in this chapter. I don't really think of Dan Schneider's Andre as the Andre that I wrote in this chapter, but my version of Andre just kinda happened and I'm rolling with it._**

**_So I plan to alternate perspectives like I did in the previous story, but I don't know if I'll do the Cat-Jade-Tori sequence for the entire story. Honestly, I didn't plan out too much of a plot line for Tori and I don't like her character enough to plan out more. So the rest of the story might just be the Cat-Jade sequence._**

**_All that being said, leave a review telling me what you think! Constructive criticism is always welcomed!_**

**_Until next time,_**

**_Skye_**

* * *

**_"Chapter 3 – Walls"_**

_"I'm gonna break down these walls I built around myself. I wanna fall so in love with you and no one else could ever mean half as much to me as you do now. Together we'll move on; just don't turn around. Let the walls break down." – All Time Low_

At nine o'clock in the morning, Tori paced around her bedroom nervously.

Last night, she texted Danny and told him to meet her at her house because she had something important to tell him, but he told her that he was out of town for the day and probably wouldn't be home until around midnight. His mother still kept him on lockdown after finding out that he'd impregnated a girl at sixteen, so he couldn't even _think_ about seeing Tori that late.

He told her that he would be able to come over around nine or nine-thirty in the morning, and now Tori waited.

Antonio slept soundly in his crib by his mother's bed. (The crib would start out in Trina's room where it was supposed to be, but Tori would get paranoid during the night and roll the crib into her room and place it by her bed. This had gone on for nearly two years now and would probably continue until Antonio was big enough for a bed.)

Andre, who had slept downstairs last night, woke up at about eight to find Tori already up and about. He didn't question why she was up so early and told her that he would be going home for a little bit to check up on things. His eyes were dull and unfocused when he talked to her, and his voice sounded distant, like his mind wasn't as present as his body. That had been the case lately, but Tori had learned to deal with it.

She told herself she would take Cat's advice and try harder to pull him away from his music, but first she had to worry about Danny.

"Tori," her mother called from downstairs. "Danny's here to see you!"

Tori faintly heard her mother saying other things to Danny and quickly rushed downstairs in case she said anything embarrassing. "Thanks, Mom," Tori said breathlessly when she reached the bottom of the steps. "You can go now."

"Calm down, Sweetheart," her mother advised with a warm smile. "Maybe I want to talk to Danny, too." She turned back to Danny who stood nervously in the doorway. "I'm so glad you and Tori are on better terms," she gushed as she pinched his cheek. "Out of all the boys she's dated, you were my favorite."

"Mom!" Tori whined in shock. She shoved her mother out of the way and reached out to grab Danny's wrist. "We'll be upstairs," she announced as she pulled him into the house.

"Keep your door open!" her mother ordered as Tori hurriedly dragged Danny up the stairs.

"I have a son and a boyfriend!" she reminded Holly as she shoved Danny into her room and slammed the door.

Tori let out a sigh as she pressed her back to the door. "Sorry about that," she apologized once they were alone in the quiet.

"It's okay," Danny chuckled, shoving his hands into the pockets of his red skinny jeans. He looked around the room for a moment as an awkward silence filled the air. "So—"

"I don't—" Tori started at the same time Danny spoke.

The both stopped talking and looked away from each other. After another small moment of silence, Danny cleared his throat. "You go," he suggested.

Tori started to wring her hands and looked down at them, trying to find the strength to get those words off her chest. How could she start? What would she say? She could honestly say she'd never done anything like this before…

She looked up at Danny with worried eyes, taking in his slightly worried expression. She looked away from him again and walked over to Antonio's crib. Now the little boy sat up, watching his mother in wonder after being awoken from all the noise. Tori smiled at her son and kissed him on the top of the head before picking him up and placing him on her hip.

She turned back to Danny and opened her mouth to speak when Danny stepped backward and his hand shot out to grab onto something to steady himself.

"We used protection," he mumbled, forcing himself to look up at his ex-girlfriend.

"I know we did," Tori acknowledged quietly. "But…sometimes it doesn't work."

"How do you know he's not Andre's?" Danny asked, raising his voice to a normal tone.

Tori walked to the desk beside her closet. She opened the middle drawer and picked out a small booklet. "I wrote down everything about Antonio," she announced, "From the day I took a pregnancy test to the day he was born." She moved to Danny and held the little red book out at arms' length.

With a shaking hand, Danny took it from her and opened it to the first page.

_9/22/2011 – I've never missed a period before. Maybe I'm just a little late._

_9/28/2011 – I bought a pregnancy test today… It was positive._

_9/30/2011 – Andre and I had sex today. Didn't tell him about the test._

_10/8/2011 – Told Andre I was late. Took another test. Positive._

_10/12/2011 – Andre took me to the doctor. Made him wait outside. Six weeks pregnant. Heard baby's heartbeat! Expected to give birth on May 8__th__._

_10/28/2011 – Told my friends I was pregnant. Jade attacked me and I went to the hospital. Baby's okay._

_11/5/2011 – Told my family today. Mom cried. Dad won't speak to me. Andre not allowed over._

_12/25/2011 – Four months pregnant today. Dad started talking to me again. Andre still not allowed over._

_1/8/2012 – Second ultrasound today. Having a boy!_

_2/14/2012 – Felt my first kick today! Happy Valentine's Day to me!_

_4/13/2012 – Last ultrasound today in 4D. Got to see his face. He's so handsome! Can't wait!_

_4/24/2012 – Had my son last night. Named him Antonio David Vega. Dad cried when he held him. Doesn't look like Andre…_

Danny quickly closed the book and let it fall to the ground. He placed his hand over his mouth and stared at the disheveled red book on the carpet. His mother was going to _kill_ him! He hadn't even meant to sleep with Tori; he came to talk to her about Cat and one thing led to another…

He never meant to cheat on Cat…_again_.

But he made sure to use protection! He was so careful…

Shaking slightly, Danny looked up to Tori and her son, his son. Antonio had his nose. His hair was straight and black…just like Danny's.

He let out a shuddering breath that quickly turned into slight laughter. He quickly crossed the distance between him and Tori and grabbed her face, kissing her deeply.

Tori's eyes widened on impact and she held Antonio a little tighter. The feeling of his lips on hers brought back old memories, fond ones that she greatly missed. Whether he loved her or not, he kissed her with more fire and passion that Andre ever had. No matter how many times she kissed Andre, nothing could compare to Danny.

After all, he was her first love.

Just as Tori was about to put her free hand on the back of Danny's neck, he pulled away from her and kissed Antonio on the top of his little fuzzy head. Tears filled his eyes as he smiled down at his son. "I can't believe it," he whispered as Antonio wrapped his fingers around one of Danny's. "You're my son…"

And just like that, Danny found a new reason to live.

He had to be there for Antonio; he needed to. With the realization that he had a son, Danny would be able to leave Cat alone. It was blatantly obvious that Cat didn't want anything to do with him; she was just too nice to say anything. As bad as it may sound, Danny could stay out of Cassie's life; he would be able to give her the choice of spending time with her real father when she grew up.

Danny knew Tori would want him around; he knew she still loved him. He also knew that he still loved her. While he had loved Cat, he also loved Tori, and that would never change. Three years ago, he didn't want to break up with her and he knew Tori felt the same. The only reason they had broken up was because Tori was scared about their "long-distance" relationship, a decision she quickly realized was stupid.

But she was too afraid to ask if he would take her back.

He realized he should have fought for her, that he should have been persistent about their relationship. He would gladly give up ever meeting Cat if he could have stayed with Tori for the past three years. Now, with Cat together with Robbie and Tori's relationship with Andre obviously on the rocks, they had a reason to talk about their feelings and where they would stand in their relationship.

And this time, nothing would stand in the way of his son and the love of his son's mother.

**_~*You break me down*~_**

Reluctantly, Tori told Danny that he had to leave; Andre would probably be home soon and she didn't want to have that discussion with him yet. After a long make-up-make-out session while Antonio played on the floor, Tori made Danny swear not to say anything to Andre because she honestly believed he didn't already know.

Stubbornly, Danny begged her to let him stay; he told her he couldn't leave her again. While she cherished his melodramatic statement, she told him that he really had to leave. There was no telling what Andre would do if he saw his girlfriend in the arms of another man. And even though Tori's dad was a cop, people still did crazy things when they were upset…

Danny left out the back door as soon as Andre came home through the front door. Tori watched him leave and nearly had a heart attack when Andre opened the door. She almost regretted giving him the spare key to the house…

For the first time in half a year, Andre smiled when he saw Tori holding their son on her hip. Tori stood deathly still as he walked over to them and kissed them both on the forehead. "I love you both," he announced.

Tori smiled widely. "I love you too," she returned. She fought the frown that crept over her lips; suddenly, it felt wrong to tell Andre she loved him. Did she love him? Of course she didn't love him the way she loved Danny, but did she love him at all? As much as she hated to think about it, she wondered if she latched onto Andre because he was the first guy to come after Danny and show her some sort of affection…

"So what did you need to check up on?" Tori quickly blurted out, trying to rid herself of those terrible thoughts.

"Just some family stuff," Andre answered as he plopped down on the couch. He put his feet up on the coffee table and grabbed the remote, quickly flipping on the TV and turning it to HBO.

"What kind of family stuff?" Tori questioned as she moved around the couch to sit down beside him.

Andre changed the channel, keeping his eyes locked on the TV. "Don't worry about it," he told her. "It's nothing serious."

Tori pursed her lips. "So then why can't you tell me?" she interrogated. "You know all about my family, but I hardly hear anything about yours."

Andre turned to her with an annoyed look, the dull gaze in his stare again. A rush of cold swam over Tori, and it started to make her a little angry that the life in his eyes depleted as quickly as it came. "Are you okay?" he accused. "You sound like you're trying to find something out."

"I am!" Tori exclaimed. Antonio squirmed in her tightened grasp, but she kept him pressed against her hip. "I _just_ want to know how your family's doing." She closed her eyes and visibly relaxed. She was still a little tense from meeting with Danny and Andre was testing her patience. She opened her eyes and forced a smile. "When was the last time we went on a date?" she asked.

Andre shrugged in response. "You know I've been busy lately."

Tori nodded. "Yeah, I know," she agreed hurriedly. "But why don't we go on one tonight?"

Andre's face relaxed and he shook his head. "I got a lot to do with this deadline coming up," he stated.

"What about tomorrow?"

"I'll probably still be working."

Tori's eyebrow twitched like it usually did when she got angry, but she wasn't sure Andre paid enough attention to her to know that. She clenched her teeth behind closed lips as she tried to think of something to say without exploding.

Then an idea sparked.

Tori placed Antonio on the floor and leaned toward Andre on the couch. "You can take off a little time for some fun, right?" she asked before kissing his neck. She nibbled slightly on his ear. "Maybe I can be your muse."

As Tori continued to kiss Andre's neck and even rest her hand on his shoulders, he wasn't feeling it. Gently, he placed her hands on her shoulders and lifted her off of him with an apologetic look. "As much as I want to," he began, "I really have a lot of work to do. I have to work on another demo tape and I only have two songs finished. I do want to, Tori, don't get me wrong. But I gotta finish this."

Tori shot up from the couch and crossed her arms. "I'm finding that _really_ hard to believe," she seethed.

"What?" Andre questioned as he rose to his feet. "What are you talking about?"

Tori snapped around with fire in her eyes. "We've been together for _two years_ now," she reminded him. "I understand how we didn't do much when the baby was first born, but then you stopped paying attention to me altogether! All I want to do is spend time with you, but you keep pushing me away." She didn't know she started to cry until a tear rolled down her cheek. She quickly wiped it away, refusing to let him see her cry.

"I'm sorry, Tor," Andre apologized as he started to move toward her. "I can try to push things around and we can go out."

"Don't," Tori demanded. "You shouldn't have to _make_ time for me!" She looked away from him. "Maybe you should spend some time at home so you can get your priorities straight."

"What are you saying?" Andre cried with worry.

"_I'm saying get out_!" Tori screamed at the top of her lungs, her hair flying around wildly as she turned to face him. She picked up a pillow off the chair beside her and threw it at him. He ducked and it made a soft _thud_ as it hit the door.

"But what about our son?" Andre called out.

Tori laughed scornfully and walked over to the kitchen where Antonio sat in the middle of the floor playing with one of his toys. She picked him up and stormed over to Andre. "_Look_ at him," she demanded, bouncing Antonio roughly on her hip. "Do you realize how stupid you are for not noticing? For waking up every day and going to bed every night with a child that obviously isn't yours?"

Andre clenched his fists. "I'm not stupid!" he yelled. "I knew all along, Tori! I knew, but I didn't say anything because I _love_ you."

"So why don't you act like it?" Tori challenged. "It's hard to love someone when you don't give them the time of day!"

"Well I'm sorry if I'm trying to work so I can make a life for the three of us!" he screamed. The intensity of his voice frightened Antonio and he began to cry. His mother quickly shifted him around on her body and held his head on her chest, resting her hand protectively on the back of his head.

"I think you should leave," Tori advised in a softer tone.

"What's going on up here?" David questioned as he emerged from the basement. "I heard yelling."

"It's nothing," Tori lied, keeping her eyes on Andre. "Andre was just leaving."

"Tori, we can talk about this," Andre told her loudly.

David quickly crossed the room and stood between his daughter and her boyfriend. "She wants you to leave," he stated authoritatively. "I suggest you listen before I convince you otherwise."

Andre grimaced at Officer Vega and quickly turned on his heels. He stormed out of the house and slammed the door behind him, rattling the decorations on the walls.

David turned back to his daughter to ask her what happened, but she was already halfway up the stairs.

**_~*You break me down*~_**

As soon as she got back to her room, Tori slammed her door harshly. She gently set Antonio down on her carpet and collapsed on her bed in tears. She had never hated anyone before, but she felt like she was close to feeling it toward Andre.

Who did he think he was? She convinced her parents to welcome him into their reluctant arms and persuaded them to let him live in their home after graduation. She had given so much for him, but he didn't seem to care. She didn't feel bad for lying to him or her parents, but if Andre knew and if he claimed that he would always be there for her, why would he treat her like this? Why would he refuse to give her the time of day if he claimed he loved her? He knew she was content with living at her parents' house while she completed college, and they weren't going to kick her out any time soon. He knew that he didn't have to work so hard right now, so why was he doing this to her?

She honestly doubted that he loved her, and she still doubted that she loved him.

She wasn't sure how long she cried, but she knew she eventually cried herself to sleep. By the time she woke up and checked her phone, it was already 2:30. The text message notification blinked at the top of her phone and she checked to see that she had three messages from Danny. He asked her how she was in the first message, what was going on in the second message, and threatened to come by her house if she didn't answer her within the next ten minutes.

That was thirty minutes ago…

The loud banging at the front door startled Tori and Antonio started crying again. Her heart raced as she remembered that she left him on the floor. She scanned the room to find him beside his crib, rubbing his eyes. She let out a sigh of relief and picked him up. She bounced him gently to soothe him as she made her way to her door. As she opened it, she heard her dad's protective voice.

"…doesn't want to see anyone right now," he announced.

"Well could you tell her that I stopped by to check on her?" Danny's sweet voice pleaded.

Tori rushed out of her room—careful of her son—and peered over the top of the stairs. "He can come up, Dad," she assured her father. "I'm fine."

David eyed his daughter curiously for a moment before stepping aside and allowing Danny to enter the house. "You had better behave with my daughter," he warned Danny with a dark tone low enough for Tori not to hear.

Danny's face paled as he nodded shakily and he tripped over his own feet as he tried to rush upstairs. Once at the top of the stairs and out of David's sight, he kissed Tori passionately. "I was worried," he whispered once he broke from the kiss.

Tori looked past him down into the living room and put her finger to her lips. She grabbed his hand and led him back to her room, closing the door gently. "Andre and I had a fight," she announced. "I kicked him out, and I don't know if he's coming back."

Though Danny was pleased by this news, he still looked sympathetic. "Are you okay?" he questioned.

Tori nodded softly. "I will be," she answered. "I just…I was upset and it just got worse. I'm sorry I didn't respond to your texts; I haven't been sleeping well lately because I've been taking care of the baby and I guess I kinda crashed."

Danny looked to his son on Tori's hip. "You make it look easy," he joked. Tori laughed and rolled her eyes playfully, shooting warmth through him. He never realized how much he missed her laugh.

"It's hard doing it by myself," she confessed. "Andre never really has time and I can't ask my parents for help."

"Why not?" Danny asked curiously. He eyed Antonio who played with his mother's hair. "Can…can I hold him?"

Tori bit her lip. "He gets a little fussy if anyone besides me and my mother holds him," she told him. "He takes a while to warm up to some people, so don't get upset if he doesn't want you to hold him."

With that, she pried Antonio's hand from her hair and gently lifted him off her hip to offer him to his father. She felt a little nervous as she handed him over to Danny, but Danny took the child cautiously. Antonio assessed the situation as Danny tried to mimic Tori's method of holding him. Danny, however, had less hips than Tori and had to support the toddler with his arm under Antonio's chubby legs. Antonio looked back to his mother, as if for reassurance, and she smiled at him. He looked back up at Danny and rested his head on Danny's shoulder.

Both teenagers let out a sigh of relief.

"Let's sit down," Tori suggested, gesturing to her bed. "He seems okay for right now, but he's less likely to cry if he's on the bed."

Danny followed Tori's lead and sat down on her light blue comforter. "Did you tell Andre about…?" His eyes fell down to Antonio as his voice trailed off.

Tori looked down at her hands as an awkward silence filled the room. "He said he knew," she spoke quietly, keeping her eyes on her wringing fingers. "He didn't say anything about you, but I don't know if he suspects you at all."

"What do you think he'll do when he finds out?"

Tori shrugged and looked up at Danny through her lashes. "I don't know," she confessed. She grimaced. "I don't plan on seeing him again."

Danny smiled weakly. "So what does that mean for us?"

Tori smiled softly and leaned into him, planting a light kiss on his lips. "We have a lot of catching up to do," she announced, indirectly answering his question. "Three years changes things. What if we aren't the same as we were back then?"

Danny reached out to gently touch Tori's cheek and gave her a reassuring smile. "All we have is time now," he breathed as he leaned in to kiss her tenderly. "We can get to know each other all over again."

**_~*You break me down*~_**

Angry couldn't even _begin_ to describe how to Andre felt. Everything he did, he did for _her_. Who was she to throw that all away? Who did _she_ think she was to say he didn't love her? Of _course_ he loved her! How could she think otherwise?

There had to be someone else.

Why else would she suddenly accuse him of not loving her if there _wasn't_ another man involved? But who could it be? As much as he hated to admit it, Andre would assume that it was Beck, but there was more than enough evidence to disprove _that_ theory.

Who could it be if it wasn't Beck? The thought of Tori being with someone else—the knowledge that her baby wasn't his—already broke his heart. She didn't know that many guys, so to think that she could have been with a stranger tore him to pieces.

He should have paid more attention to her…

Andre _knew_ that Tori would be perfectly content living in her parents' home, even if it were permanent. He just…wanted to be worth something in her eyes. Her love wasn't enough; he needed her respect. He needed to be able to make a living with the job he loved. He needed to buy her a home, create security for her and her son, to protect his family…

And now that was all gone.

Andre didn't remember the walk home.

Before he knew it he was in his old room back home. He slammed his door, rattling his bedroom walls. Rage consumed him, making it nearly impossible to do anything but reach out to support himself on his dresser. His chest rose and fell as his growing hatred overwhelmed him. Red clouded his vision and his hands began to shake.

Andre wasn't violent, nor was he an angry person, but he screamed with such fury as he found the strength to throw whatever he could find on his dresser across the room. With all his strength, he tossed his dresser over, shaking the ground beneath him as it made a deafening _crash_.

He brought his foot up and kicked his bed with enough force to slide it across the room and dent the adjacent wall.

Andre took staggering breaths to steady himself, and his whole body trembled as he breathed. He needed to calm down; he was causing too much damage. He was enraged, alright, but he couldn't let it control him.

Intoxicated by resentment, he stumbled through his home, down the hallway, and into the kitchen. He needed to calm down; there was no other option. His mother used to tell him how a small glass of wine would always calm his grandmother down whenever she went into one of her manic frenzies.

Maybe it would do the same for him.

His body felt weighed down, as if he moved through quicksand. His hands continued to shake as he reached for the refrigerator handle upon entering the kitchen. He was so close.

Through much strain, he pried the refrigerator door open and reached down to the bottom shelf to pull out the bottle of expensive wine his mother saved for special occasions. If there had been a cork on it, he probably would have smashed the bottle atop the counter in his angered haze. Luckily, he was able to unscrew the top like he would a soda.

Without hesitation, Andre brought the bottle to his lips and tilted it as far back as he could without spilling it. The stinging liquid flowed into his mouth as he chugged the raspberry liquor and small streams of wine trailed from the corner of his lips. As he started to swallow, he felt calmer, but he didn't feel normal.

Taking a minor break from the wine, he could see clearer. But even that wasn't enough.

Andre placed the bottle on the counter beside the fridge and reached up to the overhead cabinet where his parents kept all the medicines and vitamins. A white bottle with a thick blue label stood out. Andre recognized this as the ibuprofen PM and quickly took it. As he opened the cap, he made sure to only empty two little blue pills into his hand; he didn't want to overdose.

Obviously, he knew that drinking alcohol while taking sleeping aids wasn't the best idea, but that didn't stop him as he downed each blue pill with a large swig of wine. And before he knew it, the last drop of wine evaporated on his tongue.

Without thinking, Andre let the bottle fall out of his hand and shatter on the tile floor. He snickered slightly as the noise scared him and stumbled back to his room. He obviously knew he was drunk, but that made him happy. There was nothing but joy radiating inside of him. He knew that he was angry about something, but he couldn't remember what that something was.

Wait. Maybe it had to do with a girl? Yeah, that was it! He was angry about a girl. But the only girl he could think of was Tori; how could he possibly be angry at her? He loved her and she loved him.

But…why wasn't he at her house? Why was he in his room? Why was his dresser knocked over? Why was his bed pushed against the wrong wall? And more importantly, why was he so tired?

He didn't expect the sleeping pills to kick in so fast! At least he had his bed.

Andre collapsed face first onto his soft, terribly missed bed and bounced slightly. He snickered more as he bounced a little and fought to stifle a yawn. He was in bed and he knew he was tired; he didn't need to yawn!

He turned slightly on his bed and felt unnecessarily restricted. He laughed a little too loudly when he realized he hadn't even bothered to put on his night clothes. But it was too hot for real clothes! So instead, he kicked off his shoes and shimmied out of his pants, kicking them to the floor as well when they were around his ankles. His shirt came off in one fluid motion and he sprawled out on his bed in nothing but his boxers.

His eyelids started to droop, but he knew that he'd feel better whenever he woke up…


	4. Sound Effects and Overdramatics

**_I felt good about this chapter at one point, but then I just...didn't feel it anymore. I tried to post it earlier, but the site was messing up. _**

**_To be honest, not much happens here and I'm sorry about that. But I guess you kinda get a look into how Cat's feeling about everything going on in her life. I actually went over the word limit when I was writing this and I had to edit stuff to reach the 5,000 word limit. There was a lot more I wanted to add here, but it probably wasn't that necessary anyway._**

**_I think the chapter's pretty slow, but I hope you guys like it. Leave a review telling me what you think!_**

**_Chapter 5 is on it's way!_**

**_-Skye_**

* * *

**_"Chapter 4 – Sound Effects and Over Dramatics"_**

_"When the shirt came off, it was all in time. When the minute turned into a mile, and then I broke that grin, and I cut it out, and you got all turned on by the taste of your sin." – The Used_

Cat bounced excitedly, her red dress flapping all around her. "Hurry up, Jade!" she whined as Jade walked out of the door with her twins in two separate baby carriers.

"Some of us weren't so lucky to only have one baby," Jade reminded her in a huff of breath. "I'd move faster if someone helped me."

Cat sucked her teeth in a fluster and bounced over to Jade. She took Darla's carrier since Jensen didn't really like Cat picking him up too much, and she walked quickly with the toddler back to Jade's car to allow Jade to lock the front door.

Cassie, who already sat in her car seat in the backseat of Jade's car, played with her fingers while cooing noisily. When her mother walked up to the car with another child in tow, her face fell and her eyes narrowed. She made a noise of disapproval as Cat placed Darla in one of the spots beside her and popped Cat's hands continuously as she tried to strap Darla into the seat.

"Stop it, Cassie!" Cat exclaimed, "Bad girl!"

"_Bad mommy_!" Cassie shouted at the top of her lungs.

Cat gasped—completely forgetting about Darla's safety belt—and shot up quickly in shock, hitting her head on the top of the car. She fell back on the ground dramatically, crying out in pain, and Jade hurried over to her.

"Cat!" she cried. "Are you okay?"

Cat's lower lip trembled and her eyes started to water. "No," she answered with a breaking voice. "My baby's so _mean_ to me!"

Jade rolled her eyes and reached out to pull Cat up off the ground. "Be mean back to her," she advised simply. "You're her mother; you're the one in charge. You keep letting her walk all over you!"

A tear rolled down Cat's cheek. "But I can't be mean to her," she cried out. "I love her!"

"I know you do," Jade allowed as she walked around the car and placed Jensen in the free seat beside Cassie. "But you have to discipline her. Otherwise, she's gonna turn into a little brat." As she situated Jensen and buckled all the necessary belts, Cassie tried to push Jade away in the hopes that she would take Jensen away. But as soon as Cassie touched Jade's hand, Jade shot her a dark glare that instantly made her stop. She turned away from Jade and started to cry loudly.

Cat gasped and ripped open the passenger's door, quickly climbing in to soothe Cassie by rubbing her arms. "What did you do?" she hissed, shooting an accusing glare at her friend once she'd calmed her daughter.

"She hit me and I looked at her," Jade spat honestly as she continued to fix Jensen's seat. "I let her know without words not to hit me when I'm helping my son."

Cat frowned and watched Jade through the rearview windshield as she walked around the back of the car to make sure that Darla was set as well. "But you made her cry," she whispered sadly.

"Babies _cry_, Cat," Jade pointed out, not taking her eyes off her daughter. "They'll get over it if you let them. You can't run to them every time they cry." She looked up at Cat with a hard, serious gaze. "They'll never learn how to be independent if you never let them cry it out."

Cat huffed and turned around, plopping down in her seat. She didn't want Cassie to grow up to be a bad girl, but she didn't want to make Cassie cry in order to teach her to be good. But maybe Jade was right. She was really protective of the twins, but she didn't baby them the way Cat babied Cassie. Darla was a well-behaved baby and Jensen wasn't destructive or bad either. Jade never spanked them and Cat told herself she would never spank her children, but what if Jade made her do it? Would she be able to deal with putting her hand to her daughter? What if Cassie hated her?

She wouldn't be able to live with that…

**_~*When I mention blue, all you thought was color*~_**

Cat couldn't stop thinking about how she would discipline Cassie on the way to school. She had to stop, though; today was her first day of college and she needed to focus on school.

When they were registering for classes two weeks before school started, Jade told Cat it would be a smart idea to take early morning classes since their toddlers needed constant care. Jade also told her it would be smart to take her General Education courses (classes not specifically for her major but required on her Degree Evaluation) so she'd signed up for a Math, English, History, Science, and a French class since she already knew a little bit of French. Today she would have her English, History, and French classes, but she would be done by noon. She didn't like not being able to take any singing classes or music classes, but Jade would never tell her wrong.

When they reached UCLA, Jade turned left toward the middle of the campus where the daycare would be. Neither of the girls felt comfortable leaving their children in a daycare, but they had no other options. Jade had no nearby family members that would be able to watch the children, Beck and Robbie had to go to school, too, Cat's mother had to work, and Jade sure as hell didn't trust Cat's brother to watch the babies. She made the mistake of letting Bryce watch her house once when everyone went on a group outing and came back to half the furniture missing. They found the missing furniture in an alleyway guarded by a hoard of feral cats.

Jade pulled up to the daycare and both girls got out of the car. Jade unbuckled Jensen first while Cat unbuckled Darla. She waited until Jade came around the front of the car before handing Darla over and getting Cassie out of the car. Cat led the way and opened the door since Jade had her hands full, and both girls were greeted with a wonderful little building.

The walls were painted to make the room look like the inside of a gingerbread house. A box of toys sat neatly in the corner and gumdrop-shaped tables sat in the middle of the room with neatly stacked crayons and papers on top. By the wall across from the toy box sat a bin with blue and purple sleeping mats as well as little blankets and pillows. Beside the bin was a shelf full of little stuffed lions, bears, monkeys, pigs, and more, making Cat smile.

And a desk sat on the wall where the door was, adorned with drawings and crafts obviously made by distracted toddlers. A woman, around thirty-five with long and naturally red hair pulled into a messy bun atop her head, rose from the desk and smiled at the teen mothers.

"Good morning," she greeted. "I'm Ms. Haggerty." She bent over and placed her hands on her knees, smiling at the toddlers once at eye level. "And who are you little angels?"

Cat smiled and placed her hand on Cassie's head. "This is my daughter Cassidy," she announced proudly. "But we call her Cassie." She pointed at Jade's children. "This is Jade's daughter, Darla, and her son, Jensen." Then she gasped, realizing she'd forgotten something. "I'm Cat, by the way!"

Jade rolled her eyes at her friend's cheery disposition. "We'll be back around noon," she stated, getting right to the point. She glared at Ms. Haggerty as she stood upright. "You may have a fancy degree and training or whatever, but if I find out that _anything_ bad happens to my kids…well, you'd better sleep with one eye open."

"I don't appreciate being threatened," Ms. Haggerty spat, crossing her arms. "Jade, is it? I've worked with children for twenty years. I've raised three of my own that are now in high school. Whatever your children throw at me, I can handle. I take my job _very_ seriously." She held Jade's gaze for a moment and Jade scowled. This _stranger_ seemed legit, but that didn't make Jade want to hand over her children.

However, she still didn't have many options.

Her professors wouldn't take kindly to babies in class, some had made that clear on their syllabi, and she was going to be late to her first class if she didn't give Darla and Jensen to this woman.

Fighting an annoyed growl, Jade reluctantly handed over the baby carriages to Ms. Haggerty. She kissed them both on the head and glared once more at the daycare runner. "I'll be back at noon," she repeated, turning on her feet and exiting the room.

Cat sighed as Ms. Haggerty placed Darla and Jensen's baby carriages on the carpet. "I'm sorry about Jade," she apologized. "She's been through a lot and she's really protective of her babies. She means well, though."

"I'm sure she does," Ms. Haggerty announced with a small smile. "She's not the first overprotective parent I've had come to my nursery, and I'm sure she won't be the last. But I promise that your children will be just fine. Others should be on their way, so I'm sure they'll make a lot of friends."

Cat smiled. "I really want Cassie to make friends," she confessed, "But my mommy says she's in her 'Terrible Two's' stage and she's not a good girl. She's a little bit of a handful…"

"That's perfectly alright," Ms. Haggerty assured her. She held out her hands for Cassie's baby carriage and Cat handed over her daughter with ease. "I've worked with difficult children before, and I try to help them behave more. And if her behavior is still bad after a few weeks of attending this daycare, I have a lot of references that may be able to help you."

Cat gasped with a wide, open-mouthed smile. Cassie wouldn't be bad anymore and she wouldn't have to be disciplined! Cassie wouldn't hate her and everyone would be happy! "Thank you so much!" she exclaimed joyously. She leaned over and pecked Cassie on the forehead. "I'll be back after class!"

And with that, she bounced out of the nursery and into Jade's car to get ready for her classes.

**_~*When I mention blue, all you thought was color*~_**

Cat loved her French class.

Her teacher was a grey-haired fiftysomething and devilishly funny. Granted, Cat was a bit of a nerd when it came to things she loved, but he made hilarious French-related jokes that she just couldn't get enough of. She also made friends in class because of the small group-setting format of the room. They even played an ice breaker game that she loved that made her feel comfortable in the lumbering classroom.

By the end of the class, Cat became giddy with excitement, ready to pick up her daughter from daycare; the longest she'd ever been away from Cassie was the very first day of Senior year when her teachers told her around lunch time that a high school was no place for an infant. (However, Jade 'convinced' Principal Helen to look the other way so the three girls could bring their children with them.)

"…and starting Wednesday we'll be partaking in complete immersion," her teacher, Patrick Beasom, announced. "_Je suggère que vous étudiez vos livres_. If you don't know what I said, then crack open your textbooks!"

Cat smiled to herself, feeling proud that she understood his suggestion to study her French book.

As soon as Dr. Beasom released the class, Cat shot up from her chair. She almost made it out the door when a slender hand landed on her shoulder. She turned around to see a girl, around 5'5" with long, black ringlets and bright blue eyes—brighter than Jade's on occasion—smiling at her. Though Cat didn't pay much attention, this girl was strikingly beautiful. Tiny freckles danced along her porcelain skin and her full, red lips doused in red. Her clothes were subtle, but still managed to show off her curves in a dignified manner. Her nails were pristinely polished and manicured, painted light blue to match her blouse. And to top this magnificent girl off, she had a silver bar running through her eyebrow, just like Jade.

"Hi," Cat greeted happily.

"Hey yourself," the girl greeted back. "My name's Natalie."

"Hi Natalie!" Cat exclaimed a little loudly.

Natalie laughed slightly. "I saw how good in French you are," she pointed out. "I suck at learning languages, but I have to take four semesters of one in order to graduate. French is really hard for me, but it was the only language class open when I registered. Do you think you would mind tutoring me?"

Cat opened her mouth to respond when her phone buzzed in her bra. She jumped in shock and quickly pulled it out before Natalie's curious eyes and saw she had a text from Robbie.

**_Miss you so much! Can't wait to see you after this long weekend!_**

Cat's smile twitched. She hadn't completely forgotten about Robbie, but she had a lot going on with the babies and the first day of class that she didn't think about how his parents were dropping him off at school this morning and how he wouldn't be home until around two. And when they hadn't seen each other for a consecutive amount of time, Robbie tended to get frisky. He liked to run his hands over the bare skin over her arms and her legs, sending shivers down her spine. He liked to kiss every inch of her body, trailing from the tip of her big toe to her forehead and each individual fingertip. He would press himself close to her, unwilling to let her go as he kissed her passionately.

She loved those things. God, she loved the way he touched her.

But maybe she loved it too much.

Cat often found herself in a hot fluster whenever Robbie kissed her or touched her. He sent fire through her, and it scared her to know that he was the only one that could put that fire out. She'd talked about it to Jade before, and Jade said that it meant that she wanted to be with Robbie in the ways that she'd been with Danny, in not-so-ladylike words of course. Then she made Cat get on the pill.

As much as Cat wanted to be with Robbie, to know every inch of his body in the most intimate way the way Danny knew hers, she was still scared. Being "on the pill" didn't mean much to her; Jade was on the pill, but she _still_ got pregnant. Granted, there were different circumstances involved, but she still got pregnant…with _twins_.

Cat held no doubt in her mind that she would make Robbie use a condom. And if he didn't know how to use one, she would show him; she'd seen Danny do it every time they were together (except for the first time). But what if it broke? She took one of Danny's condoms once because she was curious about how a tiny little circle could fit on…

But she put her hand in it and, not long after she put her fist in it, it broke. How would they know if Robbie's would break while they were together? When she broke it, she didn't even feel it snap out like she would if it were a rubber band; the only thing she felt when it broke on her hand was the slimy stuff on the inside.

And then if it broke, what if her pill didn't work like Jade's? She wanted Cassie to have a little brother or sister one day, but not right now. And what if she had twins like Jade?! She couldn't even imagine raising _three_ kids in college!

"Are you okay, Cat?" Natalie questioned, worry marking her perfect features.

Cat shook her fearful thoughts away. "Yeah," she lied with a wide grin. "I was just thinking. But yeah, I can help you study. When did you want to?"

Natalie looked a little uneasy. "Well," she began sheepishly, "I was hoping that maybe we could start today. We could study in the library. There probably won't be a lot of people there."

Cat frowned. "I don't know," she said. "I have to get my daughter from daycare and my friend is gonna drive us back home."

"We can study in my room!" Natalie quickly suggested with a hit of desperation in her voice. "I have an apartment style dorm and I have a room by myself. There's plenty of room for us to study and your daughter to play around. I brought my car, so I can drive you back home."

Cat visibly thought it over for a moment. Cassie probably wouldn't want to meet Natalie and she would probably be fussy after spending time in the daycare, but that would give her a reason not to go back home and a reason not to see Robbie. She could spend a lot of time studying with Natalie, and they could hang out if they didn't want to study anymore. Then she could get home late, probably when Robbie was asleep or about to go to sleep, and he wouldn't be able to get so frisky.

"Okay," she caved. "Just let me go pick Cassie up and we can go back to your place."

Natalie sighed with relief. "Great," she breathed. Her face lit up with an idea. "I'll come with you!" she offered. "Then Cassie could have a little more time to meet me and get to know me so she'll be okay with us hanging out."

Cat smiled brightly, partially happy that she'd made a new friend. "Kay, kay!"

**_~*When I mention blue, all you thought was color*~_**

Cat had to resist the urge to run across campus since she had Natalie to walk with. The sound of her black flats slowly _tap, tap, tap_ping along the sidewalk made her antsy; she just wanted to be near her daughter again. She missed holding Cassie and reading to her. She'd only been away from her daughter for three hours, but it felt like a lifetime!

And Cassie would be getting hungry soon.

Natalie tried to make conversation during their walk, but Cat was too preoccupied with her thoughts of Cassie to form coherent sentences. By the time they'd walked far enough that the daycare was in sight, Cat took off running, her dress flowing around her wildly in the wind. Natalie stared off at her for a few moments but quickly took off after her to catch up.

Cat didn't even bother hesitating to catch her breath when she reached the front door; she simply ripped it open and bounded inside. Jade sat in a little chair with Darla in her lap, reading to her quietly. Even though it was a baby book, Jade didn't seem to mind reading it to her, especially when Darla managed to say her first word: _cat_.

Both of them looked up when Cat entered the daycare and Darla smiled broadly, waving her arms excitedly. "Cat, Cat!" she exclaimed.

Cat gasped excitedly. "She said my name!" she announced wispily.

"No she didn't," Jade denied with a scowl. "She said a word from the book and it just happened to be your name, too." She held up a stuffed bear in front of Darla. "What's this?"

"Cat!" she answered, whining slightly as she squirmed in Jade's lap, trying to grab the stuffed toy.

"See?" Jade rebuffed, glaring at Cat.

Cat looked away and began searching the room for Cassie, trying not to meet Jade's terrifying gaze again. When she spotted Cassie in Ms. Haggerty's lap, she smiled softly. From the looks of it, Cassie played peacefully with Ms. Haggerty's finger. But when Cassie saw her mother standing at the doorway, she reached her arms out and grasped at the air repeatedly. "_Mommy_!" she screamed, her face starting to turn red. Cassie's obviously new and unpleasant attitude startled Ms. Haggerty, and the older woman bounced the toddler gently on her knee as she continued to cry. Cat quickly ran over to her daughter just as Natalie opened the door.

Jade eyed Natalie suspiciously, sensing something off about this beautiful girl. Maybe it was her maternal instincts or whatever, but she now had a way of telling if a girl or woman had a baby. And by looking at Natalie, Jade was absolutely sure that Natalie was _not_ a mother. Therefore, she had no business at the daycare.

"Is everything okay?" Natalie questioned, looking to Cat bouncing Cassie on her hip.

Cat nodded while bouncing her daughter and walking over to her new friend. "She just missed me," she answered quietly. She kissed the top of Cassie's head with a pleased smile. "I missed her, too."

"Are you ready to go, Cat?" Jade asked, standing up with Darla on her side.

Cat looked to her friend with a reluctant demeanor. "I was going to take Cassie and go study with Natalie," she told Jade. "She offered to take me home afterward."

Jade grimaced and glared at Natalie before going back to Cat. "Keep your phone on," she advised. "You'd better pick up if I have to call you."

Cat lowered her head. "Kay, kay," she responded glumly.

"Cat," Ms. Haggerty called from her desk. "Can I speak to you for a moment?"

Cat spun on her heels and walked with a bounce in her step while Jade prepared her twins to go home. "Is everything okay?" she asked with a hint of worry.

Ms. Haggerty pursed her lips. "I'm worried about Cassie's behavior," she announced. "When you left her here this morning, she got really angry. She refused to cooperate for the first ten minutes and then she didn't want to listen to me when I tried to get her to behave. She threw toys around the room and snatched them out of the hands of children that came later on in the day. I wanted to ask you how often you discipline her."

Cat shrugged her shoulders. "Not much I guess," she retorted. "Jade and I live together and her son cries when she disciplines her. I don't like when Cassie cries."

"I don't assume that you would," Ms. Haggerty acknowledged. "But she's at that age where discipline is critical. If she poses any bad behaviors, you need to instantly stop her, otherwise she'll never learn."

"You sound like Jade," Cat mumbled.

"Maybe you could learn from Jade," Ms. Haggerty stated. "She may seem a little…rough around the edges, but her children are better-behaved that most I've seen."

Cat pouted. She didn't want to discipline Cassie, but she wouldn't be able to handle it if Cassie continued to misbehave. Her biggest fear though was that Cassie would hate her. But Darla and Jensen didn't hate Jade, or at least didn't act like it.

She sighed loudly and silently assured herself that she would be able to do this.

She would be strong enough.

**_~*When I mention blue, all you thought was color*~_**

Robbie smiled to himself as he entered the mall. He was going to buy Cat a present to celebrate their one year anniversary. He was going to present her with one of the most magnificent presents he could buy with the money he made secretly selling his paintings on eBay. He would have to email the strange puppet connoisseur and thank him for buying the various paintings of Rex. Maybe he would paint more pictures later to make enough and take Cat out on a fancy date.

He didn't tell Cat about it, but he'd opened up a bank account and stashed all his art money in it. He would tell her about the account later and share it with her, but now he had sole access to nearly $2000 wired to a bank card to spend on his whimsical desires.

Robbie looked around the mall for Cat's favorite jewelry store that he may or may not have forgotten the name of. From what he could see, Bale's was the only jewelry store on the first floor. He was pretty sure that store was on the second floor, but there were two jewelry stores there. He remembered going with his step=dad one day to pick out an engagement ring for his mother, and his step-dad told him they were going to her favorite store. Cat was a lot like his mother, so Robbie hoped they liked the same store.

_But what was it called?_

Robbie jogged up to the nearest escalator and climbed it quickly as if it were a set of stairs. He didn't have much time to waste with frivolous luxuries; Cat would be expecting him home soon.

Once at the top of the escalator, he looked to his left. Some jewelry store with an unbelievably French name that he couldn't pronounce stood by _The Cookie Cutter_.

But that wasn't it.

Looking right and down the large corridor, _Tilly's_ sat facing Robbie, its pink sign glowing radiantly.

That's it!

He took off at a fast paced walk, keeping mind of his peed since running wasn't allowed in the mall. And when he got there, a young man with hair as dark and as long as Beck's but skin as pale as Jade's looked up from his computer. He wore a Jade-like scowl, nearly convincing Robbie to turn around and leave.

"Can I help you?" he asked with a not-so-friendly tone.

"I'm looking for a promise ring for my girlfriend," Robbie announced with a broad grin, despite the man's unpleasant demeanor. "It's our anniversary next week."

"_Charming_," the clerk said apathetically. He moved over to a glass casing system at the far end of the store and away from the register. He took in a deep breath. "This is our collection of promise rings," he sighed emotionlessly. He gestured to the left side of the case. "These are our 'wallet friendly' collections. Take your pick."

Robbie fought the urge to roll his eyes. So much for customer service.

While Robbie wanted to get Cat a nice ring, he _did_ have to keep the price in mind. He still had to help out with the bills. But as long as he could paint, he'd be able to make money…

Scanning from left to right, Robbie found a set of promise rings with ridged-shaped bands that almost looked like crowns, yet looked softly rounded like clouds at the same time. The inside of the smaller ring was a soft gold color, while the inside of the larger ring was a dim silver. They were somewhat plain, but Cat would like them; he could always add things to them as well, which he planned to do.

"How much would it cost to get rings engraved?" Robbie questioned, keeping his eyes on the bands.

"It's three dollars a word per ring," the clerk announced, looking down at a magazine. "Accents range from twenty-five to one hundred dollars per ring."

Robbie bit his lip in deliberation. That didn't sound _too_ bad, and Cat was worth it. He just hoped she would like what he picked out.

"I want these two," Robbie announced, pointing down at the ridged bands. He looked up at the clerk. "And I want the words 'I will always be with you' engraved on the outside of them so we can always look at them."

"Is there anything else you'd like on the rings?" the worker asked, not moving from his seat.

"Um…I think I want 'Caterina Valentine' engraved on the inside of the bottom of the bigger one," Robbie stated. "And I think I want 'Robert Shapiro' on the inside of the smaller one."

"You think or you know?" the worker clarified impatiently, narrowing his eyes slightly at his magazine.

Robbie sneered. "I want that," he told the man adamantly. "I also want a diamond at the start and the end of the sentence. Can you tell me the price of the rings with the engravings before the diamonds?"

"The price of the rings is right under them," the cashier pointed out. "You want less than twenty words so multiply that by three and that's the most you'll be looking at before the diamonds."

Robbie looked back down at the price of the rings. The whole set was an even twenty dollars. If he got twenty words, which he wasn't sure he did, that would be sixty dollars. Eighty dollars for two rings didn't seem too bad, but then again…Robbie had never bought a ring before, so he wasn't sure if this price was reasonable.

But he had $2,000 to spend, so it wouldn't matter if he spent $200 on a set of rings. After all, Beck told him that Jade's engagement ring was five times that amount.

"What kind of diamond can I get for thirty dollars?" Robbie asked, staring straight at the clerk.

He rolled his eyes. "I hope you have enough room in your pocket for all that money you're not spending," he quipped.

Robbie narrowed his eyes. "How about you stop giving me such a bad attitude when all I'm trying to do is get a gift for my girlfriend who stood by me while I was in a coma even though she was pregnant by a douche who didn't have the balls to raise his own baby and _help me_ get a good ring?"

The intensity of Robbie's voice shocked him and prompted him to help Robbie, without the annoying disrespect.


	5. Running From Lions

**_"Chapter 5 – Running From Lions"_**

_"Get me out of this place before I cause more damage, a small price to pay for building houses out of matchsticks. And when things get too hot, you've got me to blame for, every fire that breaks out in every lover's name. Don't forget, we've got unfinished business, stories yet to unfold."– All Time Low_

**"To put it simply, your son has lost part of his ability to hear due to genetics and, in time, may lose his hearing altogether."**

Jade only had two classes today: Roman Archaeology and Intro to Chemistry.

Her Chemistry teacher spent the entire fifty minute class discussing the syllabus, almost putting Jade to sleep. As soon as he gave the slightest hint that class was over, Jade was the first out of her seat and out the door. If the rest of this class was going to be this boring, she considered dropping it and taking it online if she could.

Luckily, the building with her Roman Archaeology class was two buildings away from the Science Building and she made it to class with eight minutes to spare. By the time she got to her classroom, someone else was already there. The classroom was in an auditorium setting, containing stuffed folding chairs with slide-up desks, each row of chairs higher than the last. From the looks of it, there were twenty-six rows of chairs, putting her pretty high up in the room. And if she wanted to bring her computer to class, there were outlets on the outside of every armrest on the chairs where she could plug in her charger.

Upon entering, she saw a boy sitting at the far left of the room, claiming his seat as far away from the teacher and the front of the classroom as possible. Because of the setting of the room, Jade entered through the back of the class, and the boy looked up at her when she opened the door. His hair was dirty blonde and cropped short, just long enough to graze his fingers if he ran his hand through it. Everything he wore was name branded, some brands she'd never heard of. For a guy, he had impeccable taste in clothing, and he struck Jade as someone who would look amazing in a fitted suit and tie. His azure eyes crinkled with flirtation as he smirked at her, exposing the smallest glimpse of perfectly white teeth.

Jade rolled her eyes with a scowl and made her way to the other end of the back of the classroom, taking the seat as far from him as possible. She didn't need stupid boys bothering her.

Her phone buzzed in the pocket of her jeans and she pulled it out, her hard eyes softening when she saw that she had a text from her fiancé.

**_I'll see you soon, babe. Have a great first day. I love you._**

Jade smirked and was about to text a reply when she heard the chair beside her creak. She caught the eyes of the well-dressed boy as he sat down beside her and she scowled.

"So who are you texting?" he asked coolly as he propped his feet up on the chair below him. His voice was rich like dark chocolate, yet deep and refined. Even with that small, nosey question, the words seemed to slide down his tongue and swirl around Jade's head, filling her with intrigue. And now that he was closer, she could faintly see the outlines of his well-muscled arms beneath his long-sleeved shirt.

"That's none of your business," Jade spat. "Get away from me while you still have both legs."

The boy chuckled and slid down in his seat, leaning his head on the back of his chair. "You and I both know you're not going to touch me," he announced. He gave a small wink with a sly smile. "But you can if you'd like to."

Jade scoffed and held up her left ring finger. "I'm engaged," she announced matter-of-factly.

The boy smirked. "And I'm Fletcher Sage Wells III," he announced proudly, "But you can just call me Fletch."

Jade rolled her eyes. "I didn't ask for your stupid name," she pointed out maliciously. "Now leave me alone."

"That's no way to make friends," he told her lazily as he stared up at the ceiling. He kept his smirk and gave her a sidelong glance. "It's also rude not to introduce yourself."

"I don't _want_ any new friends," Jade hissed adamantly. "I want you to go away."

Fletch huffed with a playful smile. "I tell you what," he began, sitting upright in his seat, "If you tell me your name, first and last, I'll leave you alone. And I can tell if you're lying."

Jade scoffed. "Sure you can," she mumbles, going back to her phone. While typing a response to Beck, she decided to humor Fletch. "My name is Jade West," she told him as she typed away, "But you don't need to know my middle name." She looked up at him with her most intimidating look. "This is your _last_ warning."

Fletch held up his hands in defense with a goofy smile. "I keep my word," he assured her. "But that's a beautiful name for a jewel such as yourself."

Jade sneered as he walked away and other students began to file into the classroom. Everything about this…handsome boy spelled trouble, and Jade had a feeling this wouldn't be her last encounter with Fletcher Sage Wells III.

**_~* I regret not knowing when to put an end to all this madness*~_**

Jade parked her car close to the Science Building and wound up back at the day care in no time at all.

When she got there, she noticed at least ten more children in the room playing and crawling around. Darla sat in the middle of the room finger painting with a little natural redhead. Cassie sat over on Ms. Haggerty's lap, playing with a costume jewelry necklace. And though she would never admit it, it hurt her heart slightly to see Jensen playing in the corner by himself.

"Hello, Jade," Ms. Haggerty greeted as she stood up with Cassie on hip. "Can I talk to you for a moment?"

Jade nodded and walked over to Ms. Haggerty, keeping her saddening eyes on Jensen.

"Have you noticed anything odd with your son's behavior?" the daycare runner asked once Jade stood by her desk. "Does he listen when you speak to him?"

"He doesn't do anything wrong," Jade announced. "Yeah he wears dresses, but he'll grow out of it. Even if he doesn't, that's his business if he thinks it's normal."

Ms. Haggerty chuckled. "I didn't mean it that way," she assured Jade. "I meant does he _hear_ you when you talk to him?"

Jade eyed the elder woman cautiously. She _had_ noticed that Jensen didn't respond much if she tried talking to him and Cat even mentioned that it seemed like he wasn't paying attention when she read to him and Darla. That couldn't be a hearing problem, could it? Jade assumed that some babies were just more inattentive than others, which was true, but she also assumed that he could have ADD, ADHD, or something stupid like that since a lot of children were diagnosed with it. She would be able to go about dealing with it if Jensen had hyperactivity or something like that because she remembered that Liam had ADHD when he was younger and their mother knew exactly what to do.

But a hearing problem? She wouldn't know where to begin. Then again, Jensen wasn't even two and a half yet, so it couldn't be anything serious.

Could it?

"After observing him and trying to talk to him," Ms. Haggerty continued, "Jensen seemed to be more distant than the other children. It wasn't that he showed a lack of interest, I just found myself having to raise my voice a few times in order for him to even look at me. If you've experienced anything like that, I think you should take him to the doctor to get his ears looked at. I really don't think it's anything serious, but it's better to be safe than sorry."

Jade sighed and looked back at her son on the floor. She hoped that Ms. Haggerty was right and nothing bad was happening.

**_~* I regret not knowing when to put an end to all this madness*~_**

She should have called Beck.

She should have told him what happened and begged him to come with her. She didn't beg, but she needed him with her. She needed him to hold her hand, to kiss her temple and whisper in her ear that everything was going to be okay. She desperately clung to the terrible feeling that everything _wasn't_ going to be okay, so she needed him to lean on.

Jade didn't know how to deal with Ms. Haggerty's words. What if her son really couldn't hear? What if he had somehow managed to get an ear infection and she hadn't noticed? She would die before she let anyone say that she didn't love or neglected her children, but she knew that she hadn't given them as much attention as she should have lately; with Liam always terrorizing the back of her mind and refusing to let her sleep—on top of trying to etch out some time for her fiancé—Jade realized that she could have missed something in her son.

But if he had an ear infection, he'd cry, right? She'd never had one before, but she assumed they were painful. Cat never noticed anything either…

But what if she had?

Cat had been looking after the twins a lot lately, and what if she noticed something wrong with Jensen? She was known for forgetting things, and maybe that's what happened. If _anything_ was wrong with Jade's son, it was that little bi—!

_Stop_, Jade scolded herself. _You have no right to blame Cat; you left him with her so you're to blame._

But she couldn't help it. She needed someone to blame for this, something to make her feel better. Blaming herself would only make her feel worse.

After her talk with Ms. Haggerty, Jade picked up her daughter and decided to read to her in order to take her mind off her son's potential problems. She grimaced at the selection of books, but decided to grab _The Cat in the Hat_ since her mother used to read that to her when she was younger and it brought back fond memories.

Reading to Darla seemed to soothe Jade for the time being, but when Cat came in the daycare with another girl who obviously didn't belong there, Jade started to get a little more annoyed. And when Darla's _first_ word was 'cat,' she thought she would explode. In fact, she kind of exploded on Cat when she was excited about Darla's first word.

Jade didn't like the idea of Cat spending time with this "Natalie" girl, but Cat would probably whine if she said anything; she didn't trust that girl, though. She wasn't sure if the girl wanted to use Cat for schoolwork or anything else, but something seemed off about Natalie.

But it was whatever.

After Cat and Natalie left with Cassie, Jade begrudgingly drove her twin toddlers to the hospital. She took them to see Dr. Feldman—the doctor with thinning grey hair, tired facial features, and crackling voice who alerted the police of her situation—in the hopes that he would be able to figure out what was wrong with her son.

After a thirty minute wait, the doctor came into the room where Jade sat with her twins and smiled at her. "Good afternoon, Miss West," he greeted. "It's been a while."

Jade crossed her arms and bounced her knee repeatedly. "There's something wrong with my son," she announced, skipping the formalities and getting straight to the point.

Dr. Feldman pulled out the rolling chair from the desk beside the examination table and sat in front of the mother and her children. "What seems to be the problem?"

"He's having hearing issues," Jade answered. "I want to get his ears checked to make sure he doesn't have an infection."

"Alright," Dr. Feldman noted. "I'll just need to run a few small tests, including a little blood work, and we'll make sure Jensen is just fine." He smiled at the little boy picking at his sister's clothes on the floor, his chubby legs exposed by his sister's fluffy black dress.

**_~*I regret not knowing when to put an end to all this madness*~_**

Beck was jetlagged, but that didn't stop him from hopping into his truck as soon as he got back to his parents' house. He had gotten very little sleep the night before and felt weird trying to sleep on the plane, but now he was completely awake with anticipation. He even fought back jitters as his fingers drummed on the steering wheel.

He was ready to see his son and daughter, especially his fiancée.

The weekend had been a long one, specifically because of the fight he'd gotten into with Jade, but she greeted him with an apologetic-for-Jade voicemail when he got back to his cousin's house after the funeral. He was ready to pick her up, kiss her until his lips turned blue, and even get down on his knees if he had to. Saying that he missed her was an understatement, and he forced himself not to go over the speed limit.

When he pulled down the dirt path to the home he'd bought with his and his parents' money, Beck smiled.

Just a few more steps and Jade would be in his arms again.

As soon as he unbuckled his seatbelt, his phone rang in his pocket, playing an 8-bit rendition of one of his favorite Michael Jackson songs. When he pulled his phone out of his pocket, he smiled at the picture of him kissing Jade that he set as her contact icon.

"I'm about to walk in the door," he told her lovingly as he answered the phone.

_"I need you to come to the hospital," Jade pleaded quietly between sobs._

Beck's smile fell and he shot up straight in his seat. "What's wrong?" he asked, slight fear in his voice. "Are you okay? Did something happen to the twins?"

_"Just get here soon," Jade whispered, sadness weighing down her voice. "I'm in room 110."_

She hung up without telling him that she loved him, and Beck's chest contracted slightly. His breathing faltered, burdened by worry. Thousands of horrible scenarios raced through his mind, all involving near-death experiences.

Beck forced himself to take a deep breath. _Calm down_, he told himself, _Think about this._ _It's something serious, but no one's dead. No one's dead. No one's hurt._

With a shaking hand, he called Cat. It was selfish of him, but he hoped that whatever was going on had happened to _her_ instead of his family. He didn't wish anything bad on her, don't get him wrong, but he would probably lose his mind if something had happened to Jade or the twins.

It seemed like it took forever for Cat to answer the phone, so Beck started pulling out of his driveway while the phone continued to ring. And just as he was about to hang up when he was back on the main road, the sound of laughter filled his ear.

_"Hi, Beck!" Cat exclaimed happily. "Are you home yet?"_

"I'm on my way to the hospital," he stated, not mimicking her happiness.

_Cat gasped on the other end. "What's wrong? Are you okay?"_

"I'm fine," he said. "You're not with Jade?"

_"No," Cat answered. "I'm with a friend at school. What's going on?"_

"I'm about to find out," Beck assured her as he sped down the road, going ten miles over the speed limit. "Just keep hanging out with your friend. I'll call you when I find out."

_"Kay, kay," Cat acknowledged glumly. "Talk to you later."_

Beck hung up his phone and dropped it into the passenger's seat, putting both hands on the wheel and trying not to break into a panic attack.

**_~*I regret not knowing when to put an end to all this madness*~_**

Before he knew it, Beck was running through the hospital trying to get to Room 110. Orderlies, nurses, and even a janitor called out to him, telling him to slow down, but he didn't listen to them.

He had to get to Jade.

When he burst through the door where his fiancée told him to go, Beck saw Jade sitting in a little blue chair, hunched and crying over Jensen while Darla played with a noise making baby book.

Jade looked up at him with tear and mascara-stained eyes and stood up, clinging to Jensen while he looked around absentmindedly.

"What's wrong?" Beck questioned in a hushed whisper. "Is anyone hurt?"

Jade shook her head solemnly.

From behind, Dr. Feldman placed a hand on Beck's shoulder. "Maybe you should have a seat, Mr. Oliver," he announced as Beck looked over his shoulder with an anxious gaze. He ushered Beck into the small examination room and Beck and Jade sat together, Jade pressing herself close to her fiancé as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder and bounced his knee impatiently. Dr. Feldman sat in the leather rolling chair directly across from them. "Miss West brought your son in for hearing problems," he announced.

Beck looked to Jade who refused to meet his eyes.

"When I checked both of his ears," Dr. Feldman continued, "I wasn't able to find a problem. But I did some blood work and we were able to get a neural scan of Jensen's head. There were damaged nerves just above both ears, but the blood work alerted us to the damages being caused by X-linked Congenial Hearing Loss."

"What does that mean?" Beck asked nervously. "Can you fix it?"

Dr. Feldman pursed his lips. "To put it simply," Dr. Feldman started, "Your son has lost part of his ability to hear due to genetics and, in time, may lose his hearing altogether." He ruffled through the stack of papers he held in his hand. He pulled out a yellow sheet of paper and handed it to Beck. "This is a more detailed look at what X-linked Congenial Hearing Loss is, as well as how to help a child living with the disorder. The disorder is usually passed down from the mother, whether or not she has a history of deafness in her family."

Jade shuddered against Beck, another gut-wrenching sob escaping her lips. Beck rubbed her arm in a weak attempt to soothe her.

"Signs of the disorder tend to emerge before six months of age," Dr. Feldman stated. "When the disorder is caught before six months, the child is able to learn communication skills, verbal and non-verbal, just as well as a hearing peer." Dr. Feldman held up his hand when he noticed the distraught look on Beck's face. "The Individuals with Disabilities Education Act allows your child to receive interdisciplinary assessment as well as early intervention services at no substantial fee; considering your socioeconomic dispositions, this aid should be free or roughly around $100. After age three, your son will be given all of those benefits for free through the public school system."

"But is there any way we could fix his hearing?" Beck asked, grinding his teeth after the question.

"There are a number of options," Dr. Feldman answered with a small smile. "At this point in your son's life, you can opt to have him simply have a hearing aid, similar to one that a person who loses their hearing later on in life would receive. You also have the option of giving your son a Cochlear Implant through surgery, which won't be costly in your case. Considering the degree of your son's condition, a CI would be the best route. And it would be good to go ahead and decide within the next month what way you would want to communicate with your son."

"Will we be able to teach him sign language?" Jade asked meekly, wiping blackened tears from her eye with a sniffle.

Dr. Feldman nodded. "If you wish," he commented, "You can teach your son—and even your daughter—sign language, which could possibly take the pressure of communication off your son. You can still teach him to verbally speak, which would be advised if you choose to do the surgery. I can recommend you to a speech-language pathologist who will be able to work closely with both of you to teach your son to speak as well as a normal hearing person. Speech-language pathologists are rather pricy, regardless of socioeconomic status, and it is one-hundred percent possible to teach your son to speak and sign as well as a normal hearing child."

Beck looked to Jade who looked down at Jensen, stroking his hair slightly. Neither of them wanted this for their child, but there was hope for him. He had no doubt that he wanted to get the implant for his son if it meant he could be closer to living a normal life, but it would ultimately be Jade's decision.

"How soon can we get the surgery?" Jade asked quietly, keeping her eyes on her son as he sucked his fingers. A small tear fell on his head, but he didn't seem to notice.

"I can schedule the surgery as soon as possible today," he assured her. "It will only take a few hours, but we'll need your son to stay overnight to monitor his recovery. He may have to stay for more than one night, however, but he'll receive the best care."

Jade sniffled again and rubbed her eyes. "We'll do it."

**_~*I regret not knowing when to put an end to all this madness*~_**

Only Jade was allowed in the surgery room, and that was because the surgeons were scared of her and Dr. Feldman greatly sympathized with her. Beck was told to stay in the waiting room while Jensen's operation commenced much to his dismay.

At first, he began to pace back at forth with anticipation, but the receptionists and nurses used this as their chance to flirt with him, so he had to force himself to stay seated. As he waited for what seemed like an eternity, he perked up when he saw Caroline Harris enter the hospital.

"Mrs. Harris?" he called, standing up.

Caroline turned around at the sound of her name and smiled weakly when she saw her son's friend. Her eyes were tired and bloodshot, like she'd been crying for hours. Her makeup was completely intact considering the time of day, as if she'd fixed it up or just applied more of it. Her short, dark hair, which always seemed to be in immaculate form, had strands flying left and right from the tiny bun at the nape of her neck. Her clothes were slightly disheveled, which shocked Beck.

"Is everything okay?" he asked, walking up to her.

"They will be," Caroline breathed. "Andre just isn't himself right now."

"What happened?" Beck questioned, his voice filling with fear.

Caroline frowned. "I found him last night after I got off work and he wouldn't wake up when I tried to get him to come to dinner," she explained. She pressed her lips tightly together for a moment, suppressing a sob. "I…had to bring him here last night and they said he'd tried to…" The hidden sob in her throat exploded inside of her and she covered her mouth to stifle it, cutting herself off.

"Andre wouldn't do that," Beck denied, realizing what she was telling him.

"I just don't know anymore," she whispered. "I think it may have to do with the girl he was seeing—I can't think of her name—because I had to call her to tell her she was allowed to visit, but she wouldn't pick up the phone. I'm worried that they might have broken up and he took it pretty hard."

"I'll see if I can call Tori," he told her. "I'll…find out what's going on. Just tell Andre I hope he's okay."

Caroline smiled weakly. "Andre needs more friends like you," she told him before walking away.

Once Mrs. Harris was out of sight, Beck pulled his phone from his pocket and dialed Tori.

One ring…

Two rings…

Three rings…

_"Hello?" Tori called in a hushed whisper._

"Tori," Beck called in a normal tone. "Where are you? Andre's mom's been trying to call you. What are you doing?"

_"No she hasn't," Tori denied in her hushed whisper. "Andre called me five times today, but I don't want to talk to him. We're…spending some time apart." In the background, Beck heard a soft, man's groan, followed by—presumably—Tori shushing the guy._

Beck pursed his lips and narrowed his eyes. "How long have you two been broken up?" he questioned pointedly.

_"We're not broken up," Tori denied, her voice raised slightly. "I just told him that we needed some time apart and he spent the night at his parents' house last night."_

Beck sneered slightly, gripping his knee out of anger. "Andre's here at the hospital," he spat. "His mom thinks he tried to kill himself."

_"What?" Tori cried out in fear. "What hap—?"_

Beck hung up before she could finish her question, unwilling to listen to her false worry. He knew there was no way that she could possibly care about him, especially with that mystery man in the background. If she loved Andre, she wouldn't have rebounded so quickly, _especially_ not the day after she kicked her boyfriend of nearly two years out of her home. How did she even find the time to find a new guy? It had to be someone she already knew, right?

All Tori did was hurt him. And now she was pretending to care?

She was pathetic.

Dr. Feldman rounded the corner and Beck stood up, putting Tori and Andre to the side for a moment. "Is everything okay?" he asked.

Dr. Feldman nodded with a wide smile. "The surgery went well and we've done the frequency tuning already. He loves his mother's voice." He nodded his head to the door he came out of. "Follow me."

**_~*I regret not knowing when to put an end to all this madness*~_**

Jade paced in the hospital room where her son would be staying the night. Darla would be staying with her father for the night, but she crawled around the hospital room for the time being, picking at things at the room. Jade was allowed in the operating room, but after some deliberation, she wasn't sure she'd want to be there. Seeing her son, so vulnerable and small, broke her in ways she never imagined possible; she knew she wouldn't be able to keep her composure while they tried their best to cure her son, and that was why she didn't choose to be there for the surgery.

After a while, she lost track of time.

By the time a rut started to form in the floor and Darla had curled up into a ball for a nap, Dr. Feldman entered the room with a nurse carrying Jensen as he screamed and cried his lungs out. Jade shot a pointed look to the nurse and quickly took her son from her, fighting the urge to attack the young woman.

"Jade," Dr. Feldman began, "The surgery went well, but we need to adjust the frequency of his implant to make sure the surgery was a success."

"So why didn't you do it already?" Jade spat, bouncing her son gently.

"We felt it would be best to have you in the room," the doctor explained, unfazed by her hostility. "Jensen is more likely to respond to his mother's voice than mine or a nurse's."

"What do I do?" Jade asked in a calmer tone.

Another nurse came in, wheeling in large machine full of technology Jade had never seen before. "We'll need you to sit down on the bed," Dr. Feldman instructed her. "Talk to your son in a normal tone of voice and try to soothe him." He picked up a wire connected to a small metal device and placed it above Jensen's black implant placed directly behind his ear. "I'll keep adjusting the frequency of his device until he responds to you."

Reluctantly, Jade moved over to the bed and sat down with her son, being careful not to bounce him too hard as she sat down.

Dr. Feldman stood over by the large machinery and turned it on. "Try talking to him," he advised.

Jade skeptically opened her mouth, trying to think of something to say. She wasn't used to her son crying, nor was she used to trying to soothe him in front of other people. "It's…okay," she said slowly. "You'll…be fine."

Jensen continued to cry and Dr. Feldman pursed his lips as he turned a dial on the machine.

"Please stop crying," Jade begged quietly. "I know it hurts but you'll be okay."

Jensen still cried and his mother began to worry. What if this didn't work? What if he would never hear her?

"Try again," Dr. Feldman ordered as he turned up the dial. "Don't worry, Jade; this will work."

Jade sighed and kissed Jensen's forehead. "It's going to be okay," she assured him, regardless of if he could hear her and oblivious to Dr. Feldman continuing to adjust the dial. "Mommy will love you no matter what."

Abruptly, Jensen stopped crying and looked at his mother in awe, his face puffy and covered in drying tears.

Jade smiled in disbelief. "Did you hear me?" she questioned, excitement laced in her voice.

Jensen smiled and giggled softly, reaching for his mother's hair. Jade laughed in disbelief and her eyes began to well up. Knowing her son could finally hear her sent a new sense of life coursing through Jade's body. For the three hours that she feared her son would never hear his mother or anything else, the weight of her fear was finally lifted and she knew her son would have a better chance at a normal life.

Dr. Feldman said something, but Jade was too engrossed in _talking_ to Jensen to notice. Be able to talk to her son, to have him listen to her without having to raise her voice, felt amazing to Jade. Between talking to him and kissing his forehead, Jade couldn't get enough of her son; she couldn't take her eyes off him as he smiled and bounced playfully. Jensen would smile wider and laugh a little more every time Jade spoke to him, and it amazed her how much joy he could find in her voice.

So of course there was that nagging thought of if he had ever heard her before…

Not long after, Beck entered the room and noticed his daughter on the floor. He smiled and picked her up. Darla didn't seem to mind and snuggled against her father, resting her head in the crevice of his neck and shoulder with her thumb in her mouth. He moved slowly with his daughter in tow over to his fiancé.

"How is he?" Beck asked, looking from Jade to Jensen with a hopeful smile.

Jade smiled slightly as Jensen turned to look at Beck with the same awe he'd given his mother. "He likes my voice," she answered with hushed happiness. Jensen turned back to her with a wide, tiny-toothed grin and leaned against her chest. She placed a protective hand on his cheek and kissed the top of his head. "I still can't believe it; it's…it's like that worrying we did earlier doesn't even matter anymore."

Beck's lips twitched. "We'll have to keep a close eye on him, though," he pointed out. "Are we going to try and teach him sign language?"

Jade sighed softly. "I guess we can," she replied. "We can teach Darla, too. It won't be easy for him not being able to hear well, so he may like being able to see people talking to him."

Beck sat on the bed and smiled at Jade. "We can do this," he assured her. "I'll do whatever I can to make sure our son lives a happy life. And I promise that no matter what, I'll be more understanding. I know how big a deal your brother is for you, and I promise I'll remember that. I love you and the twins more than I love my own life, Jade; I'd do anything for all of you."

Jade leaned over and kissed Beck softly. "I love you," she breathed.

He smiled back at her. "I love you, too."

**_~*I regret not knowing when to put an end to all this madness*~_**

Begrudgingly, Beck left Jade and the twins at the hospital in order to go home and pick up some overnight clothes for Jade and Jensen. Beck thought it would be good if Darla stayed the night, too, but Jade didn't want to expose her to the hospital that much. But for now, she would nap by her mother and brother on the hospital bed.

When he got home, he found Robbie lying on the couch. The awkward boy shot up with excitement when the door opened, but his face fell when he recognized his friend in the doorway. "Hey," he greeted dejectedly.

"Hey man," Beck greeted back as he entered the house. "What's up?"

"Nothing," Robbie sighed, keeping his eyes on his lap. He looked up at Beck with pleading eyes. "Do you know where Cat is? She hasn't answered any of my texts and she should be home by now."

Beck grimaced slightly, feeling bad for his friend. "Jade said that she's staying over at a friend's for a while," he announced. "I texted her earlier and said that I'd pick her up when she's ready to come home. You can go with me if you want."

"Really?!" Robbie exclaimed, his face lighting up.

Beck laughed slightly. "Yeah," he answered. "But I'll have to come back for you. I'm on my way back to the hospital after I pick up some clothes for Jade."

"Is everything okay?"

Beck nodded. "It will be," he answered. "Jensen…I'll tell you about it later when I come back to pick you up okay?"

"Okay," Robbie responded, his enthusiasm deflated. "I'll see you later."

"See you later," Beck nodded off as he dashed up the stairs.

Robbie sighed, lying back down on the couch. The ring in his pocket seemed to pull him down further into the couch, threatening to swallow him whole along with his sadness.

He was beginning to think Cat was avoiding him. He didn't get to talk to her much and she usually tried to spend as little time as possible with him. She always seemed distracted around him, almost like she wanted to be somewhere else.

What if she wanted to break up with him? What if she wasn't happy with him anymore? What if she was bored? He'd done all he could to make sure she was happy and he'd bend over backwards for Cassie, but what if it wasn't enough? If so, she had the perfect idea for an anniversary gift.

Would she really throw away all that they'd been through in the past two years?

* * *

_**Hi everyone! Idk, I just thought it would be a better idea to put the author's note at the end of the chapters. **_

_**So, if I had posted this two days ago (even though I didn't finish the chapter until yesterday) I would have told you guys I was already planning a sequel if this story goes well. BUT I have the majority of this story planned out and I know where I would want to end it if I were setting up for a sequel, but this story would end with a cliff hanger and I hate stories that do that because then you as a reader feel obligated to read the next one and that's just torture.**_

_**So instead, I'm just going to take everything I planned for the intended sequel (which I have half planned out) and add it to this story. Therefore, this story will more than likely be longer than the 100,000 words I was aiming for, and I'll more than likely have more than 20 chapters.**_

_**But would you guys be upset if I made the chapters themselves longer? Right now, this chapter was 78 words shy of 6,000 and I actually felt like I had a chance to put down EVERYTHING I wanted for this chapter. I'm still working on lengths for the chapters, but I know there will be a 5,000 word minimum. But your imputs are greatly appreciated! **_

_**Also, I think I'm going to change the title of this story, because it isn't the original title I had in mind.**_

_**Finally, the next chapter will focus mainly on Tori and Andre (and subsequently Danny). I'm still playing with the idea of making the whole story a Cat-Jade-Tori sequence because I feel like it would be awkward if I randomly switched it up to a Cat-Jade rotation. Idk, I'll figure it out soon.**_

_**That said, leave a review telling me what you think about the chapter or the story as a whole. Am I moving too slow? How is the word length for you? Thank you to all of you who have reviewed on the other chapters!**_

_**-Skye**_


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